8 Days To Go

Not that much really happened yesterday, so blogging would have been a bit redundant. Plus I guess you don't want a page full of crap (you all have news feeds for that), so I figured I'd wait until today to blog.

So today I got my money. I withdrew what I needed and came back with under $300. That isn't so much a worry but I know it means I'm going to have to play it tight when I get out there, knowing it's 6 weeks worth ($50 a week, that is going to be hard to stick to) but I'm sure I'll manage. I also managed to reserve my seats on the flights as well, which is proper amazing! I got a window seat on one of them (oddly enough, it's the Atlanta to Tulsa flight so I'll be able to see everything) and the rest I get to be the really annoying single passenger (sitting middle middle, meaning I'm central, symmetrical trouble!) who uses his elbows too much when he eats.

I'm growing little devil horns to mark such a brilliant occasion!

Me and Steven have had our little up and down days recently but I think everything is just getting to me in a big way. This is one huge transition, I've never really 'dated' anyone and I've never stayed in another country on my own, that's for sure. I am scared, I can't lie. I am a very scared person and I do worry. Deep down, it's because I guess I just expect to be worse off in every situation, hence I do what I can to help others. I don't want to feel like I'm in a position where I can be abused or hurt; and whilst this opportunity I have can swing either way on it, I want to try my hardest to please everyone on it. I've been going on about this trip for so long that I can't really turn round and say it failed because of my shortcomings.

I don't want to fail again. I've done it enough time in life.

So tomorrow begins the longest week. When I get to the 10th, I bet I'll turn round and say it went so fast and I wish I had more time. All year I've wished time to fly and it did. I don't fully regret it, but I regret the means in which I did it. My first year should have been care free, adventurous and tipsy. OK, maybe not the last one, but I think that, on reflection, I could have come out a few more times. I could have expressed myself much better in certain situations. I could have been more of a friend to my flatmates and I certainly wouldn't let go of people who drifted away. Saying that, all those things led me to where I am now and that, my friends, can't have been all a bad thing.

God bless the broken road, that led me straight, to you. Rascal Flatts.

8 Days To Go. I Love You Steven.

<3

165 Days To Go: Part 2

With all this newly emerged free time, I got quite a bit done today. Stuff that I couldn't do mainly because I was out of the house trying to teach kids that 'The Tyger' is just as thrilling as 'Smack Ma Bitch Up'. It's a hard task. I sorted out my SE folder (a day late, go figure), got through 5 discs of Family Guy and rediscovered that my purpose in life was to totally remember every single Eurovision entry from the last few years in my CD collection and become moved yet again by my true ability to mime along to 'My Heart Is Yours'. Not only that, started listening, again, to Rascal Flatts. I've truly missed them amongst all the Chase and Status I've been subjected to. And all of the BF' heavy metal when he plays it.

He has heavy metal. If he plays it, I bring Steps to America. His call.

I managed to make something even I didn't expect to ever exist. I had streaky bacon that was out of date tomorrow so I needed to use it today. But my bread was out of date. I had two options... straight bacon or have something out of my cupboard and mix it in. Considering the second option of the latter would have been tea bags, you would have hoped I would have been better prepared for this situation. Turns out I had Tomato and Bacon Soup. A BLT without the health or the L. In liquid form. My ability to improvise was tested and my drama background totally came through.

Still tasted like a BLT without the L. Crap.

Tonight, it sunk in. Today, I saw what my course was all about. Not any card from the kids, not any good marks from the assignments, nothing in this country. I had a bad morning and this evening, me and the BF had a good hour and a bit together just chatting, just laughing. I realised that the money I'd spent to get there, the money I'm spending on this course, it's so I can finally get what the world takes for granted. I can get what many people have experienced but probably never thought it was so special. And boy I'm excited for when it happens. For 6 weeks it happens everyday hopefully.

I'll get to see that smile, that laugh, that face without pixels. And I'll reflect it right back.