15 Days To Go: Countdown Begins

Sorry for the lack of updates. Those who follow on Facebook know that University stress and placements don't mix. Much like whiskey and beer and coke. More on that later.

So the first year of university is completed. A sad time as I'm leaving a lot of good memories behind but I don;t think I could have continued on much longer at the pace we were going. My flatmates were amazing the last few days, they were so composed and I know if any of them had been an emotional wreck before Thursday just gone, I would have been in tears. Those people (Tish, Alex and James) will always hold a special place in my heart for many years to come. They watched me grow and I watched them watch me. Sounds almost perverse but let's not forget that what was said and done in that flat stays there. I'll truly miss their little foibles and, to psychologies it a bit, I think that's what I'll miss most when I move into my new house.

Avon Flat 2 forever. The flat karaoke, I'll miss that too. <3

Had my final bit of placement and a residential. Here's a tip to those who don't have kids: wait until the government makes leashes legal. The worry about losing kids was almost too much on some occasions. But I got to teach them everyday whilst in school, which was so valuable in my development. And 3 'outstandings' out of 3 isn't half bad ain't it? Going to London with them was such a welcome distraction from University's last few breaths of the academic year and getting to see the kids who only thought I wore a waistcoat and suit out of school was so nice. They were totally different but they loved the experience, as did I.

I'm never planning a school trip though. That would be ridiculous. They can run around on the playground all day for all I care.

Me and Steven have hit more than 11 months together. That's significant as it's the last anniversary before I'm finally out there. Me and him went through some rough patches, but with it being so close to getting out there, I can only see it as the pressure getting there. Only in the last few weeks have we admitted to each other that we're nervous as anything and slightly scared as to how it'll all go down. My worry is I'll turn up at the airport and either he isn't there or he looks and me and think 'oh Christ look at this minger, what the hell have I landed?' . I'm sure his worry is the same thing and it's a crying shame you can't get someone to believe in how good they look. Damn self image problems. But 15 days, I can't begin to tell you how excited I am for the time coming up. It's going to be an intense last few weeks of panicking and excitement.

That's if the airport stop changing my freaking itinerary. As it goes, I might be landing in Alaska!

I also went to go see my friend Liam down in Greenwich again. A fantastic opportunity to let my hair down, game till it's dawn and catch up on all the lewd bits of life that I missed but Liam casually picked up! Although, on a pub crawl through Greenwich, it maybe wasn't wise to order McDonalds on the last leg. And them cockily ask Tom to get me a whiskey to end the night. After the puking stopped I felt glorious, but a little tender. That's another life lesson brought to you by the unfortunate lovechild of Ann Widdecombe and Chewbacca.

That lovechild's name was David. They vowed secrecy. Until now.

15 Days. <3 I love you Steven.

76 Days To Go

Apologies for the lack of updates. Can't really give you a legit reason. Instead, let's crack on.

So my flight itinerary changed. I get to Tulsa a couple of minutes earlier and I leave England a little later, but they moved me to Heathrow. That's annoyed my hugely seeing as Olympic traffic is going to be berserk, even 2-3 weeks before the games. I'm usually quite upbeat about such changes but I'm a little nervous about the changeover. I have just under 2 hours to get to my connecting flight. That isn't so much time to really peg it to the plane whilst checking in and stuff. Should be very fun indeed.

Maybe it's why I want to get fit. I fancy running through Atlanta!

I decided (after quite a few fat jibes) that I'd get out and get fit. Eating healthy, going to the gym and taking better care of myself. I started this on Monday officially and at a starting weight of 15st dead (95kg approx), with the aim being to reduce my body fat and get down to something like 14st by the time I leave Uni. The likeliness of this happening is not particularly high but I'm motivated more than ever to make these positive changes. Although it was adorable when Steven popped up to say that he loves me just the way I am.

True 'awwww' moment that. If you didn't gush, you have no heart!

Me and Steven have been together now for over 9 months. It seemed so far away a few months ago when we were going through a rough patch and seemed so far away when we started dating. 9 months was very much one of those special moments; however due to a living situation on his end, we couldn't spend it the way I envisaged it. When circumstances change, you realise exactly what you took for granted. I assumed I'd see Steven's face every day and I'd hear his voice when I could. I didn't fully take it for granted but I know that I didn't visibly show much I appreciated the time I got to spend with him. Now I barely get any time with him until possibly late May/early June. It's going to be a damn hard couple of weeks.

I've never doubted for a second I'd get to see him for real. Under 11 weeks. I will.

This week marks the start of the most intense period at university this year. The final term. 8 lecture weeks, 9 assignments and a hell of a time at placement to come. I thrive under a little bit of pressure but knowing that, come the end of it all, it'll be just 2 and a half weeks until I find myself flying. I got a huge confidence boost today as I got re-elected StAR Rep for my group. Knowing that people have this much faith in me to serve them is something I never got in Essex. So, I get the chance again that I never had at home. I get to shine, be independent and make people proud of me. I get the chance that I wanted but never got. And I feel as high as a kite for knowing that people believe in me!

Placement tomorrow though. I'm grounded. Temporarily. :)

177 Days To Go

After the first day of a block placement entangled with pure joy and pure tiredness, I can easily say that I really want to be a primary school teacher with my own classroom, my own class, my own TA and my own wage. This startling conclusion came, not in the classroom setting, but in my own abode. Cleaning my room from an organisational pigsty to something cleaner than the Pope's underwear. My room looked dirtier than a priests' CRB check but after battling the fiendish monster, I feel more organised and prepared than ever to live a life.

And all because I can see the original dead spiders. Ah, bless.

Having rattled out a pretty intense first day on placement (I led some kids in an investigation about science and sat in a 90 minute planning meeting), I came home and went STRAIGHT to Skype. An instant beeline to the laptop to talk with my BF. But... I could only spend 20 minutes with him. For the rest of the time I would be talking to him would then be taken up with dinner, chores, planning, organisation and a private matter. And I truly felt awful, because I vowed to him that I would spend as much time as I could with him, even if it meant putting everything else on hold. I was so glad he was so understanding, but he knows how much I am hurting from not being able to contact him as much today. It got me proper down.

I'll do anything for a job at the end of it, but only one where I can talk to him for a while in between...

I reckon I'll average getting about 4 hours sleep a night for this placement. Whilst I'm still reeling from the fact that I'm going on holiday, my head still isn't fully clear yet. I celebrated 6 months, I turned 19 and I'm teaching my first lesson in under 9 days. With all these big events happening so suddenly, I'm scared of overloading. And with the lack of sleep, I'm really scared that, come weekends... I might not wake up to blog...

It's like a slightly more believable version of 'Saw'. This will be your worst nightmare.