So, after the most perfect 6 weeks and a day I could ever have imagined, I have finalised the day where I want to repeat the greatest summer of all time. Tuesday 9th July, 2013. That's a whole 39 and a bit weeks away, which means I'm in absolute agony that it isn't anytime soon. But they always stated that good things come to those who wait. That summer out in Tulsa: I had some of the greatest moments in my young life happen. I met the greatest man, I smiled straight for 6 weeks and, minus a hiccup early on the first Saturday I was there, we both spent each day holding hands, hugging and sharing lives together.
But one thing I must describe to you was that first moment that we saw each other. I had already walked the best part of a quarter of a mile out of the gate where my plane was, looking for arrivals at Tulsa airport. Finally, I saw a busted revolving door with the bollard sign of 'arrivals, this way' on it. Next to it was a lone door with opaque glass. Beyond that glass, beyond that door, was Steven. I took a deep breath and walked through. I was the last off the plane but one of the first through as others had stopped to phone loved ones. How I would have loved that familiarity to do that. But I walked through that door, head up looking. And there he was, Steven. As soon as I looked up I met his glance and instantly broke it, looking down at my shoes and thinking 'I've done it'. I had to take a deep breath to get rid of the smirk on my face and to relax my beating-ever-faster heart. I walked a little faster towards him and, in no time, we shared our first contact. The biggest, hardest hug I've ever had. He whispered 'welcome' to me as we embraced and we let go. I said 'wow, I can't believe it'.
I couldn't believe that, after saying it for so long, I was actually in the presence of perfection.
I won't go into details about the trip as, for the most part, Steven was at work and I was at home. I'll skip right to the end. Departure day arrived and I hated every second of it. I think my family might have underestimated how much I truly did hate it. I cried for the most part of the day and we shared our last goodbye. Unfortunately, we could not negotiate parking at Tulsa so I had to go to the red drop off area, which has a 3 minute limit. We hugged, we cried, we kissed. We never wanted to let go. Finally, he got into the car and rolled down the window. We held hands through the window and, finally, we let go and I let him drive off. That was the most painful thing I've ever had to do. I felt rotten and the journey home was so horrid. Got back to Heathrow and had to go to the bathroom several times before going through customs to get rid of the red eyes. Met my mum and Helen at the arrivals gate but, secretly, all I wanted was to see Steven once again, waiting for me. All I wanted to do was cry and cry and cry but I was told to stop it because it would 'make me feel better'. Not sure about that one.
Especially as, at that point, I wouldn't be with the one I love for just under 11 months. </3
Right now, me and Steven are on a break. Since we got back, it's been a horrid re-evaluation of what we currently have. We had the whole thing and loved every minute, we can't have it for a long while yet. Understandably, that's going to cause a lot of tension. When I say 'break', we aren't physically using voices but we can still FB and text chat. We got into a culture of getting into arguments as, naturally, we are both stubborn. More recently, I've been a lot more vocal due to the confidence I gained whilst being out there. But that's conflicted badly with our personalities so I've got to learn to know when to voice myself and how to do it right, because I've only failed thus far. If he decides to see other people (which, as a disclaimer, he said he wouldn't dare do), I'd understand. But I'll never look for anyone else but him in my life. And whilst we might be experiencing trouble, I have July 9th in my sights. It's still 276 days away.
But it's still 4600 miles away. We've conquered it once. And we want to conquer it again.
And we will, that I have no doubt.
Showing posts with label worcester. Show all posts
Showing posts with label worcester. Show all posts
Sunday, 7 October 2012
Thursday, 5 July 2012
5 Days To Go
And now there is a huge air of excitement running through me at every point. It's nearly the end of the week and what lies ahead is a hugely busy weekend. Strangely though, none of it involves the holiday. Which means several things. It means my mind will be elsewhere and it means it'll be occupied. But the greatest thing is that time will absolutely fly. On my end, I've relaxed at exactly the right time. There was huge tension towards the end of last week and massive indecision flying around. To me, that was my mind and my body telling me that it was realising just what a huge risk this is and how much it might come back to bite me on the ass. I'm not a risk taker, I wouldn't do something unless I know it's going to go smoothly. Which is why me travelling 4600 miles is the biggest risk I've ever taken and, probably, will ever take in life.
Somehow, I might not be feeling so bad if I was choosing between red and black. Someone take me to a casino!
It's only 5 days now. Closer to 4 really since it's 50 minutes to a new day (at the time of writing that) and it inches closer. I wish I didn't express myself as much sometimes (or at least not be good at it) because there's a level; of expectation that you'll get it back. Whilst you say you don't expect something from someone, there will always be a base level of which you expect a response. I know Steven doesn't emote, so of course, he's never going to show to anyone, let alone me, that he'd be nervous. Neither would he admit to being scared at the prospect of me coming over (maybe as, in terms of legwork, I'm doing the heavy travelling) or any other prospect for that matter. But he knows I'm scared and he knows that I'll always be nervous about this. So many people have offered their ears as a source of relief and aid and it's so gratifying to know that so many people really do care for my well-being for that to happen.
And from what it seems, if it goes wrong, Steven has some very angry Brits to deal with. Hot tea anyone?
I found out today how much of a bitch university is when you are away from it. I received my second set of Professional Studies results (Reflective Essay - D+) and a new reading list for English. I had just, this week, finally settled at home and got any inclination of hard work out of my system. See, for the last few weeks, I've felt like I've needed to work. Surely, I can't just sit on my arse and relax (unless you are doing a sports course, embrace the hate guys and gals!), I haven't been able to do that for a whole year and now I'm expected to switch off? I can't do that. I've never been able to switch off, it's why it takes me years to get off to sleep. There's no way I'm switching off on the night going into the 10th and I can guarantee you that my mind won't be off work until I know I'm in university next year.
Worcester can shove it. Stress when it isn't needed. Disgraceful.
5 Days To Go. I Love You Steven. :)
<3
Somehow, I might not be feeling so bad if I was choosing between red and black. Someone take me to a casino!
It's only 5 days now. Closer to 4 really since it's 50 minutes to a new day (at the time of writing that) and it inches closer. I wish I didn't express myself as much sometimes (or at least not be good at it) because there's a level; of expectation that you'll get it back. Whilst you say you don't expect something from someone, there will always be a base level of which you expect a response. I know Steven doesn't emote, so of course, he's never going to show to anyone, let alone me, that he'd be nervous. Neither would he admit to being scared at the prospect of me coming over (maybe as, in terms of legwork, I'm doing the heavy travelling) or any other prospect for that matter. But he knows I'm scared and he knows that I'll always be nervous about this. So many people have offered their ears as a source of relief and aid and it's so gratifying to know that so many people really do care for my well-being for that to happen.
And from what it seems, if it goes wrong, Steven has some very angry Brits to deal with. Hot tea anyone?
I found out today how much of a bitch university is when you are away from it. I received my second set of Professional Studies results (Reflective Essay - D+) and a new reading list for English. I had just, this week, finally settled at home and got any inclination of hard work out of my system. See, for the last few weeks, I've felt like I've needed to work. Surely, I can't just sit on my arse and relax (unless you are doing a sports course, embrace the hate guys and gals!), I haven't been able to do that for a whole year and now I'm expected to switch off? I can't do that. I've never been able to switch off, it's why it takes me years to get off to sleep. There's no way I'm switching off on the night going into the 10th and I can guarantee you that my mind won't be off work until I know I'm in university next year.
Worcester can shove it. Stress when it isn't needed. Disgraceful.
5 Days To Go. I Love You Steven. :)
<3
Wednesday, 25 April 2012
76 Days To Go
Apologies for the lack of updates. Can't really give you a legit reason. Instead, let's crack on.
So my flight itinerary changed. I get to Tulsa a couple of minutes earlier and I leave England a little later, but they moved me to Heathrow. That's annoyed my hugely seeing as Olympic traffic is going to be berserk, even 2-3 weeks before the games. I'm usually quite upbeat about such changes but I'm a little nervous about the changeover. I have just under 2 hours to get to my connecting flight. That isn't so much time to really peg it to the plane whilst checking in and stuff. Should be very fun indeed.
Maybe it's why I want to get fit. I fancy running through Atlanta!
I decided (after quite a few fat jibes) that I'd get out and get fit. Eating healthy, going to the gym and taking better care of myself. I started this on Monday officially and at a starting weight of 15st dead (95kg approx), with the aim being to reduce my body fat and get down to something like 14st by the time I leave Uni. The likeliness of this happening is not particularly high but I'm motivated more than ever to make these positive changes. Although it was adorable when Steven popped up to say that he loves me just the way I am.
True 'awwww' moment that. If you didn't gush, you have no heart!
Me and Steven have been together now for over 9 months. It seemed so far away a few months ago when we were going through a rough patch and seemed so far away when we started dating. 9 months was very much one of those special moments; however due to a living situation on his end, we couldn't spend it the way I envisaged it. When circumstances change, you realise exactly what you took for granted. I assumed I'd see Steven's face every day and I'd hear his voice when I could. I didn't fully take it for granted but I know that I didn't visibly show much I appreciated the time I got to spend with him. Now I barely get any time with him until possibly late May/early June. It's going to be a damn hard couple of weeks.
I've never doubted for a second I'd get to see him for real. Under 11 weeks. I will.
This week marks the start of the most intense period at university this year. The final term. 8 lecture weeks, 9 assignments and a hell of a time at placement to come. I thrive under a little bit of pressure but knowing that, come the end of it all, it'll be just 2 and a half weeks until I find myself flying. I got a huge confidence boost today as I got re-elected StAR Rep for my group. Knowing that people have this much faith in me to serve them is something I never got in Essex. So, I get the chance again that I never had at home. I get to shine, be independent and make people proud of me. I get the chance that I wanted but never got. And I feel as high as a kite for knowing that people believe in me!
Placement tomorrow though. I'm grounded. Temporarily. :)
So my flight itinerary changed. I get to Tulsa a couple of minutes earlier and I leave England a little later, but they moved me to Heathrow. That's annoyed my hugely seeing as Olympic traffic is going to be berserk, even 2-3 weeks before the games. I'm usually quite upbeat about such changes but I'm a little nervous about the changeover. I have just under 2 hours to get to my connecting flight. That isn't so much time to really peg it to the plane whilst checking in and stuff. Should be very fun indeed.
Maybe it's why I want to get fit. I fancy running through Atlanta!
I decided (after quite a few fat jibes) that I'd get out and get fit. Eating healthy, going to the gym and taking better care of myself. I started this on Monday officially and at a starting weight of 15st dead (95kg approx), with the aim being to reduce my body fat and get down to something like 14st by the time I leave Uni. The likeliness of this happening is not particularly high but I'm motivated more than ever to make these positive changes. Although it was adorable when Steven popped up to say that he loves me just the way I am.
True 'awwww' moment that. If you didn't gush, you have no heart!
Me and Steven have been together now for over 9 months. It seemed so far away a few months ago when we were going through a rough patch and seemed so far away when we started dating. 9 months was very much one of those special moments; however due to a living situation on his end, we couldn't spend it the way I envisaged it. When circumstances change, you realise exactly what you took for granted. I assumed I'd see Steven's face every day and I'd hear his voice when I could. I didn't fully take it for granted but I know that I didn't visibly show much I appreciated the time I got to spend with him. Now I barely get any time with him until possibly late May/early June. It's going to be a damn hard couple of weeks.
I've never doubted for a second I'd get to see him for real. Under 11 weeks. I will.
This week marks the start of the most intense period at university this year. The final term. 8 lecture weeks, 9 assignments and a hell of a time at placement to come. I thrive under a little bit of pressure but knowing that, come the end of it all, it'll be just 2 and a half weeks until I find myself flying. I got a huge confidence boost today as I got re-elected StAR Rep for my group. Knowing that people have this much faith in me to serve them is something I never got in Essex. So, I get the chance again that I never had at home. I get to shine, be independent and make people proud of me. I get the chance that I wanted but never got. And I feel as high as a kite for knowing that people believe in me!
Placement tomorrow though. I'm grounded. Temporarily. :)
Tuesday, 10 April 2012
91 Days To Go
13 weeks and I'm starting to feel a little queasy. Not because time is flying, but because I've just done another price search. Yes, you heard. I just wanted to see how much of a saving I have made. Compared to when it was at its peak in prices, I saved £30. Compared to where it's at now, I've lost £250. That's right, my £800 would have cost me £550 today. That is money that could have really helped in the long run (as spending money probably). Now I could face going to America STILL broke.
I gotta get seriously working soon. Like, red light district working...
I just paid out the ass for travel insurance as well. I eventually got it down from £70 to £38 using Confuzzzzled.com but it was still money that I needed to save. I'm starting to think that, after university, life with a job and a house might seem just a little easier than this. All the more impetus to keep it all going then! Being home has been a real lesson in losing independence. Whilst I have every right to do most things, I forgot just how much freedom I had away at University and just how much easier it was to relax, let go and de-stress. When I get back to Uni, whilst I'll be busy I'll be sure to have a bigger smile on my face knowing that I'm going to thrive being an underdog once again.
If you were planning a trip to Tulsa, I've saved you £282 already. Thank me in the form of a cheque please.
It's nearly 9 months me and Steven have been together. To know that I'm nearly 3/4 of the way to a year with someone is an incredible feeling. One which might not be repeated for some time. It feels incredible and it feels humbling, knowing someone wants to put up with me in such close proximity for so long too! He's got the patience of a saint he has! It got me thinking though, 9 months is a really long time. Like, January to September is 9 months and that seems an awful long time! I know we can go way longer than that, but how fast is it going to feel? These last 9 months have breezed by. What's 12/18/24 months going to feel like?
LOL. It's going to feel brilliant.
N.B. I have a pageview from Canada and I know exactly who it is. :D
I gotta get seriously working soon. Like, red light district working...
I just paid out the ass for travel insurance as well. I eventually got it down from £70 to £38 using Confuzzzzled.com but it was still money that I needed to save. I'm starting to think that, after university, life with a job and a house might seem just a little easier than this. All the more impetus to keep it all going then! Being home has been a real lesson in losing independence. Whilst I have every right to do most things, I forgot just how much freedom I had away at University and just how much easier it was to relax, let go and de-stress. When I get back to Uni, whilst I'll be busy I'll be sure to have a bigger smile on my face knowing that I'm going to thrive being an underdog once again.
If you were planning a trip to Tulsa, I've saved you £282 already. Thank me in the form of a cheque please.
It's nearly 9 months me and Steven have been together. To know that I'm nearly 3/4 of the way to a year with someone is an incredible feeling. One which might not be repeated for some time. It feels incredible and it feels humbling, knowing someone wants to put up with me in such close proximity for so long too! He's got the patience of a saint he has! It got me thinking though, 9 months is a really long time. Like, January to September is 9 months and that seems an awful long time! I know we can go way longer than that, but how fast is it going to feel? These last 9 months have breezed by. What's 12/18/24 months going to feel like?
LOL. It's going to feel brilliant.
N.B. I have a pageview from Canada and I know exactly who it is. :D
Thursday, 5 April 2012
96 Days To Go - ESTA
Feels weird to type only two digits in the title box. Makes this whole blog feel that tiny bit shorter. Much like my ego. It wasn't anywhere to start, then I found it and now it feels as small as the number of days left. It's been a bit of a revolutionary few days. I haven't felt totally lost without a cause, (after doing all your Easter uni work though, that feeling kinda lingers) but recently more than ever I've felt an awful amount of pressure on myself to not feel nervous or excited for what's coming up, mainly because no-one else feels that way. If you felt something completely different to everyone else, you'd be forgiven for thinking that it's wrong to feel that way. When it isn't actually. But you change it because you feel so out of place.
Until the end of Year 1 at Uni, no more excitement. I command myself to be bland and boring. Cue mild applause.
I like being home a hell of a lot. It's comforting to be in my own bed, in the security of my own house and not having to worry so much about the financial side of life. Having said that, I just bought some summer clothes. 2 pairs of jean shorts (I look like I'm wearing what 5 year olds would wear if they were freaks of nature. I look adorable), a new top and new shoes. All of this when my best friend Liam should have bought his new game. On a day where I only planned to buy a bus ticket and lunch, I ended up forking out more on clothing than health.
I'm not a stereotype by any means. But...
I also bought something else a few days ago which only became valid today, my ESTA. Essentially, you used to have to buy a Visa to enter the USA. But, because our country is popular, you can buy an ESTA from the Visa Waiver programme. It's basically a cheaper, longer lasting Visa that grants you multiple access, but the border control can still choose not to let you in. So, essentially, it's a second ticket to get it, meaning the only thing that is stopping me getting to Tulsa is the pure fact of time. And that's going to go super fast (after Easter, 5 weeks till half term, then 2 weeks after half term it's summer) that excites me. Which is why those first 5 weeks back at Uni are going to be super intense.
Watch my life crumble around me. WATCH IT....
Until the end of Year 1 at Uni, no more excitement. I command myself to be bland and boring. Cue mild applause.
I like being home a hell of a lot. It's comforting to be in my own bed, in the security of my own house and not having to worry so much about the financial side of life. Having said that, I just bought some summer clothes. 2 pairs of jean shorts (I look like I'm wearing what 5 year olds would wear if they were freaks of nature. I look adorable), a new top and new shoes. All of this when my best friend Liam should have bought his new game. On a day where I only planned to buy a bus ticket and lunch, I ended up forking out more on clothing than health.
I'm not a stereotype by any means. But...
I also bought something else a few days ago which only became valid today, my ESTA. Essentially, you used to have to buy a Visa to enter the USA. But, because our country is popular, you can buy an ESTA from the Visa Waiver programme. It's basically a cheaper, longer lasting Visa that grants you multiple access, but the border control can still choose not to let you in. So, essentially, it's a second ticket to get it, meaning the only thing that is stopping me getting to Tulsa is the pure fact of time. And that's going to go super fast (after Easter, 5 weeks till half term, then 2 weeks after half term it's summer) that excites me. Which is why those first 5 weeks back at Uni are going to be super intense.
Watch my life crumble around me. WATCH IT....
Wednesday, 28 March 2012
104 Days To Go
Just under 15 weeks to go now and, once again, comes the end of another term where development was key but stability was everything. This was the longest term out of the three and, if there was a term to go wrong, this would be the one. Block placement, 4 assignments (ended up being 5 for me due to the fail in Maths) and long periods away from home put a hell of a lot of strain on me. It showed throughout various points during the start of 2012: breaking down in the toilets at placement, breaking down in front of Steven and breaking down in front of friends and family.
You'd think I would have taken out breakdown cover. Amirite?
It's slightly scary how fast time is flying really. Well, it's scary in the same way getting a dog is scary. You absolutely cannot wait to get it (to be honest, this metaphor only works if you like dogs and want one. Otherwise, close your eyes, hum a tune and let me have my moment) but the responsibility of having it means things will change in your life. When I'm home and it hits 14 weeks to go, we are in double digits for days to go (98. SPOILER ALERT!) and it feels fantastic! Knowing that the next 8 weeks after that will be absolute hell on Earth with University, it's nice to know that I'll have a distraction to take me through to moving out and then the USA.
10/1 that I end the year with a grey hair. I've placed a bet. Join me?
I swear that I'm going through some very weird phase. I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm starting to feel a bit more 'attractive'. It stemmed from a trip to the River Bank yesterday with Tisha and we took a camera. In hindsight, best decision since they released Vanilla Coke. We took loads of photos and some looked halfway decent and then FLASH! That one photo that, literally, brought a tear to my eye. It's my profile pic on FB, I'm heads over heels happy with it and I hope you like it too. Then I went home and talked to Steven and tried on my bar-staffing uniform for a party on Saturday. Steven's reaction was... a different form of happiness I've ever seen. It made me feel amazing to know he liked it so much, but there's something he needs to remember.
It doesn't how much (or how little) or what he wears. He still looks amazing to me. :)
You'd think I would have taken out breakdown cover. Amirite?
It's slightly scary how fast time is flying really. Well, it's scary in the same way getting a dog is scary. You absolutely cannot wait to get it (to be honest, this metaphor only works if you like dogs and want one. Otherwise, close your eyes, hum a tune and let me have my moment) but the responsibility of having it means things will change in your life. When I'm home and it hits 14 weeks to go, we are in double digits for days to go (98. SPOILER ALERT!) and it feels fantastic! Knowing that the next 8 weeks after that will be absolute hell on Earth with University, it's nice to know that I'll have a distraction to take me through to moving out and then the USA.
10/1 that I end the year with a grey hair. I've placed a bet. Join me?
I swear that I'm going through some very weird phase. I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm starting to feel a bit more 'attractive'. It stemmed from a trip to the River Bank yesterday with Tisha and we took a camera. In hindsight, best decision since they released Vanilla Coke. We took loads of photos and some looked halfway decent and then FLASH! That one photo that, literally, brought a tear to my eye. It's my profile pic on FB, I'm heads over heels happy with it and I hope you like it too. Then I went home and talked to Steven and tried on my bar-staffing uniform for a party on Saturday. Steven's reaction was... a different form of happiness I've ever seen. It made me feel amazing to know he liked it so much, but there's something he needs to remember.
It doesn't how much (or how little) or what he wears. He still looks amazing to me. :)
Sunday, 11 March 2012
121 Days To Go
A thought came across me today. I'm back in Worcester after spending the most wonderful few days at home and I'm feeling very very low. Why am I feeling low? Because for how little I spoke to my BF this weekend, it'll be even less this week. Why did I let this get to me? Because I discovered something. We all know that bullying comes in all forms: physical, verbal etc. Have you ever considered 'silence' bullying? I can see why not speaking up can be seen as bullying. Do you know the first thing I did when I got home? I threw my hands round my mum, holding back tears because, for the first time since joining university, I was bullied. Bullied by silence.
It takes balls to take responsibility. Seems like I've got a massive pair compared to you.
It occurs to me that I have 6 'official' followers. Those who have an account and wish to follow this blog! To those of you, hello! To those who follow but haven't joined, hello to you too! It fills me with such joy when people have come to me and spoken of their joy for reading this blog (despite it being sometimes more depressing than brown bread). If I get just one person to understand how I feel, I've explained myself well and it makes this all worth it. I'm not all about reader statistics, I'm just blown over by how many people have cared enough to look. In such a time of feeling alone, I feel heartened to have such nice things to reflect upon when writing this.
Officially on record: thanks for listening! :)
I'll be honest, I'm scared. I'm scared of a lot of things. I find myself with 3 weeks of Uni till the Easter break which, if I'm right, isn't going to be a 'stressful' run in. But after that break, full days, placement and money come straight into the picture. I'm scared that, as the year draws to a close, I'll find myself under pressure with more assignments. And I'm scared that in 121 days, whilst I have no doubt in me that I'm making the right decision, my life will change forever.
If I can louden my bullies though, I'm sure I'll be just fine.
It takes balls to take responsibility. Seems like I've got a massive pair compared to you.
It occurs to me that I have 6 'official' followers. Those who have an account and wish to follow this blog! To those of you, hello! To those who follow but haven't joined, hello to you too! It fills me with such joy when people have come to me and spoken of their joy for reading this blog (despite it being sometimes more depressing than brown bread). If I get just one person to understand how I feel, I've explained myself well and it makes this all worth it. I'm not all about reader statistics, I'm just blown over by how many people have cared enough to look. In such a time of feeling alone, I feel heartened to have such nice things to reflect upon when writing this.
Officially on record: thanks for listening! :)
I'll be honest, I'm scared. I'm scared of a lot of things. I find myself with 3 weeks of Uni till the Easter break which, if I'm right, isn't going to be a 'stressful' run in. But after that break, full days, placement and money come straight into the picture. I'm scared that, as the year draws to a close, I'll find myself under pressure with more assignments. And I'm scared that in 121 days, whilst I have no doubt in me that I'm making the right decision, my life will change forever.
If I can louden my bullies though, I'm sure I'll be just fine.
Friday, 9 March 2012
123 Days To Go
I'm back home in Essex. I admit, I was buzzing the first time because it was the first time in about 2 months that I'd seen my parents. This time, I just wanted to be home because I knew I'd be in the company of people who wouldn't throw me under the bus. I was so frustrated and annoyed yesterday, but I spoke it out with my parents and they made me feel respected. Something that I think some people don't want me to feel sometimes. When you are made to feel like a scapegoat, you find that those who accept you are those who value you for who you are and not for being a 'yes' man.
I'm so much more than a 'yes' man. I say 'no' too.
I had a really lovely 24hrs with Steven yesterday. Mainly because we are both adults and I was really made to feel like a nice adult at that by him. We talked things out and we had fun and we had a laugh. Me and him have such a good connection. I think I could talk the head off a torso, but he just lets it happen. The weirdest thing is, well, he loves it. I'm naturally very introverted but if I like someone, I come out of my comfort zone and I appear very confident. I'm not a confident person at all, but he just feels so welcoming. Which means, come July 10th, I'll be expecting the biggest hug of my life.
I'll bring the tissues. Because, after a whole year of waiting, you are bound to run and cry down that arrival gate and into the arms of the one you want to be with. Duh.
It's that time in the education system when you start to ween out who's been playing a game. Who's been a true, real friend to you. I got that feeling throughout Thursday. Me and Nicola (my Worcester best friend) had an amazing little session that night with our friend Katy and we just laughed the night away (NB - Nicking Nic's phone and texting her loverboy IS NOT THE WAY to a friend's heart or speech). It's exactly what I needed; that day was going to be a total blowover until they saved it. I can't wait for Thursday though, having a kick about with lads in our group is going to be a real highlight of my week.
76 goals in 150 appearances. I have a name to behold.
I'm so much more than a 'yes' man. I say 'no' too.
I had a really lovely 24hrs with Steven yesterday. Mainly because we are both adults and I was really made to feel like a nice adult at that by him. We talked things out and we had fun and we had a laugh. Me and him have such a good connection. I think I could talk the head off a torso, but he just lets it happen. The weirdest thing is, well, he loves it. I'm naturally very introverted but if I like someone, I come out of my comfort zone and I appear very confident. I'm not a confident person at all, but he just feels so welcoming. Which means, come July 10th, I'll be expecting the biggest hug of my life.
I'll bring the tissues. Because, after a whole year of waiting, you are bound to run and cry down that arrival gate and into the arms of the one you want to be with. Duh.
It's that time in the education system when you start to ween out who's been playing a game. Who's been a true, real friend to you. I got that feeling throughout Thursday. Me and Nicola (my Worcester best friend) had an amazing little session that night with our friend Katy and we just laughed the night away (NB - Nicking Nic's phone and texting her loverboy IS NOT THE WAY to a friend's heart or speech). It's exactly what I needed; that day was going to be a total blowover until they saved it. I can't wait for Thursday though, having a kick about with lads in our group is going to be a real highlight of my week.
76 goals in 150 appearances. I have a name to behold.
Thursday, 1 March 2012
131 Days To Go
I'm in the mood for summer. And this time, not just July 10th. No, I mean some proper summer. The sun rising at 6am, the sun setting at 8/9pm and the days where the lessons take place outside. Why am I in this mood? Because it's the last time I was so truly happy. The hot days, the hotter friendships and the hottest moods, I cannot wait to wake up to bright sunlight and look forward to a day where I learn with the windows open and learn without the mind being closed. Plus, in retrospect, last summer was about success and change. This summer is all about fun and frolics abroad and at home.
Oh, and the summer playlist. That will be mentioned a lot more soon. Hint - Smooth makes it.
I slept amazingly well last night considering what happened the previous day. I woke up today to something that has put a permanent smile on my face for the whole of today. So, truly, the last 24hrs have been utter bliss. Steven messaged me whilst I was alseep. You'll read this and think 'what's so special about that?', but it's the fact that rarely it ever happens. So, rarely, he takes time out of whatever he is doing to message me, knowing I'm not going to reply. He just wants to talk to me when I can't. In some way, I get a lot of happiness from that. And having woken up to see that, I feel ever so loved.
It feels like I'm being touched by an angel when he does that. I know Steven will have something to say about that...
Lectures today brought home an important message. In 131 days time, I'll finally be in front of someone I really want to listen to and to learn from. I'm not going to lie, there are indecencies I'd rather suffer than sit through a Maths lecture, so it makes the want for it all to end so much bigger. I'm paying near enough £3.5k a year to be told that I can't read a calculator to tell me what a calculator should say. (Confused? So was I.) It brought back the simple happiness I derived from the small things in life as well. Happiness such as winding up one of my best friends about her 'lovers', happiness such as a Strongbow whilst playing pool with a friend, happiness such as listening to the music you loved long ago.
A weird mix, Blondie, alcohol and lovers. Anyone would think that I went back in time to get laid...
Oh, and the summer playlist. That will be mentioned a lot more soon. Hint - Smooth makes it.
I slept amazingly well last night considering what happened the previous day. I woke up today to something that has put a permanent smile on my face for the whole of today. So, truly, the last 24hrs have been utter bliss. Steven messaged me whilst I was alseep. You'll read this and think 'what's so special about that?', but it's the fact that rarely it ever happens. So, rarely, he takes time out of whatever he is doing to message me, knowing I'm not going to reply. He just wants to talk to me when I can't. In some way, I get a lot of happiness from that. And having woken up to see that, I feel ever so loved.
It feels like I'm being touched by an angel when he does that. I know Steven will have something to say about that...
Lectures today brought home an important message. In 131 days time, I'll finally be in front of someone I really want to listen to and to learn from. I'm not going to lie, there are indecencies I'd rather suffer than sit through a Maths lecture, so it makes the want for it all to end so much bigger. I'm paying near enough £3.5k a year to be told that I can't read a calculator to tell me what a calculator should say. (Confused? So was I.) It brought back the simple happiness I derived from the small things in life as well. Happiness such as winding up one of my best friends about her 'lovers', happiness such as a Strongbow whilst playing pool with a friend, happiness such as listening to the music you loved long ago.
A weird mix, Blondie, alcohol and lovers. Anyone would think that I went back in time to get laid...
Wednesday, 29 February 2012
132 Days To Go
In starting this entry, M People came onto my iPod with 'Proud'. Incredibly indicative of my day today. I really made myself proud (something I seldom do these days) today by growing some balls and standing up for what I believe in. When those around you harass you for thinking what you think, they themselves are exposed. To question is to grow, but my baggage only grew more tiresome to deal with. One more ex that isn't a friend anymore. But I feel relieved that I stood up for what I believed in. I feel rather cleansed if I say so myself.
What did I do today, to make myself feel proud? David defeated Goliath.
In a couple of days, I get to go home. I can't wait to get home and receive and give a huge hug to my parents. To know that, for a couple of days, I'm their little baby once again and it is satisfying. To an extent though. Like, it's just going to feel so good that for a couple of days, I'm with the ones I really love and I have that security of home once again. To know that, for 48 hours, I'm around people who won't judge, it's a stunning feeling.
I'll feel part of the family once more.
I've been in an unseasonably good mood recently. I was feeling very very down for the last couple of days for just the reason that I desperately wanted to leave the country and meet Steven finally. However, recently I've picked up. It's just... things have been going right. They never go right for me, what the hell happened? I feel so much more secure in that fact that I'm in a (hopefully) very long relationship and just seeing Steven smile gives me such warmth. There's no better satisfaction in life seeing those you care about so much, smile. They just prove their eternal happiness.
Just under 19 weeks. <3
I just did a price search. It's been over a month and a half since I booked the ticket and I wanted to check the price of a ticket now in comparison to then. Next year, I'll be buying my ticket later than this year due to loan payments and my incredibly weird renting process. Turns out I'd only be paying £30 extra at this point... makes me think. If I had waited a little longer, I could have a few more seasons of The Big Bang Theory. Or another new pair of converses.
Or a V8. *points gun to mouth*
What did I do today, to make myself feel proud? David defeated Goliath.
In a couple of days, I get to go home. I can't wait to get home and receive and give a huge hug to my parents. To know that, for a couple of days, I'm their little baby once again and it is satisfying. To an extent though. Like, it's just going to feel so good that for a couple of days, I'm with the ones I really love and I have that security of home once again. To know that, for 48 hours, I'm around people who won't judge, it's a stunning feeling.
I'll feel part of the family once more.
I've been in an unseasonably good mood recently. I was feeling very very down for the last couple of days for just the reason that I desperately wanted to leave the country and meet Steven finally. However, recently I've picked up. It's just... things have been going right. They never go right for me, what the hell happened? I feel so much more secure in that fact that I'm in a (hopefully) very long relationship and just seeing Steven smile gives me such warmth. There's no better satisfaction in life seeing those you care about so much, smile. They just prove their eternal happiness.
Just under 19 weeks. <3
I just did a price search. It's been over a month and a half since I booked the ticket and I wanted to check the price of a ticket now in comparison to then. Next year, I'll be buying my ticket later than this year due to loan payments and my incredibly weird renting process. Turns out I'd only be paying £30 extra at this point... makes me think. If I had waited a little longer, I could have a few more seasons of The Big Bang Theory. Or another new pair of converses.
Or a V8. *points gun to mouth*
Sunday, 26 February 2012
135 Days To Go
This week has been, well, stressful. But not that stressful. It's been a week where not much has gone on, but because of that, so much has. I am home alone again for this weekend, but it'll be the last one like for a little while as I up sticks for a couple of days and happily march on home to a hug, good food and good times back in my homeland of Essex. When I went down to see Liam, it was a fantastic opportunity to relax, kick back and be in company that I, not only knew, but felt so relaxed with. I love my Worcester base, the friends I've made are priceless and my flatmates are all so welcoming. But those times when you need someone who's known you longer than you've known yourself to give you that hug and boot up the arse, you pine for home. And I'm so damn thankful to be getting it.
A grown man can cry for his mummy whenever he wants. It's where he does it that depends if he gets funny looks.
I put off doing my Art assignment lesson plan because I never felt in the right mood to work and do it. But oddly enough, doubt from unlikely sources spurred me on. Steven casually observed that I'd said I'd do it, and then every day I'd say 'I'll leave it to tomorrow', to which he'd follow up with 'we'll see'. Whilst he says it was teasing, it pissed me off no end. I know he reads these but for a very long time, I've had a lot of people expect a lot of me and when I don't deliver, I am jabbed and poked about it. Now whilst he's experienced similar, I didn't ever want him to doubt that I'm a man of my word. Which is why I sat my arse down and for an hour, I typed and typed until I completed a lesson plan.
I usually don't want my BF to be quiet. For the times, they are, a changing.
I had a very low week. I wasn't particularly happy, I wasn't cheery and I couldn't get any energy to do anything productive. It got me thinking about just how badly we treat those who want to help us. It's how (oddly enough) me and Steven bonded. I was dumped and I pushed him away because, well, I thought I could handle a break up on my own. That was stupid. But all this time, Steven has wanted to help me and show me that what I do and say sometimes are not the logical and best option. I'm a man who wears his heart on his sleeve. Whilst that isn't necessarily a bad thing, it is when it isn't moderated. We end up disregarding our sane mind in favour of what feels right to say or do. When not handled right, it can destroy the bonds it took months, even years to build. Steven has, honestly, the smartest brain I've ever seen.
Thank you Steven. Truly, I know I'm more wrong than I let on. I'm sorry. I love you.
A grown man can cry for his mummy whenever he wants. It's where he does it that depends if he gets funny looks.
I put off doing my Art assignment lesson plan because I never felt in the right mood to work and do it. But oddly enough, doubt from unlikely sources spurred me on. Steven casually observed that I'd said I'd do it, and then every day I'd say 'I'll leave it to tomorrow', to which he'd follow up with 'we'll see'. Whilst he says it was teasing, it pissed me off no end. I know he reads these but for a very long time, I've had a lot of people expect a lot of me and when I don't deliver, I am jabbed and poked about it. Now whilst he's experienced similar, I didn't ever want him to doubt that I'm a man of my word. Which is why I sat my arse down and for an hour, I typed and typed until I completed a lesson plan.
I usually don't want my BF to be quiet. For the times, they are, a changing.
I had a very low week. I wasn't particularly happy, I wasn't cheery and I couldn't get any energy to do anything productive. It got me thinking about just how badly we treat those who want to help us. It's how (oddly enough) me and Steven bonded. I was dumped and I pushed him away because, well, I thought I could handle a break up on my own. That was stupid. But all this time, Steven has wanted to help me and show me that what I do and say sometimes are not the logical and best option. I'm a man who wears his heart on his sleeve. Whilst that isn't necessarily a bad thing, it is when it isn't moderated. We end up disregarding our sane mind in favour of what feels right to say or do. When not handled right, it can destroy the bonds it took months, even years to build. Steven has, honestly, the smartest brain I've ever seen.
Thank you Steven. Truly, I know I'm more wrong than I let on. I'm sorry. I love you.
Monday, 20 February 2012
141 Days To Go
I woke up this morning (after the grand total of 30 minutes of sleep) to the news that I had actually reached a bit of a milestone. 1000 reads. 1000 times, people clicked on the links and wanted to read about this adventure. That's not to say 1000 people are interested, more like 20 people quite like a re-read I think. But it does show that people do read this. And more importantly, it shows me that there's a genuine interest in feelings, a genuine interest in the want to show progression and feedback and empathise with the writer.
Or I could look at it and say 'I GOT 1000!!!!!'. Celebratory oxygen for all! It's on me.
I have an ear infection. There is only one upshot to that. Whenever someone tries to talk to you in your bad ear, you can say 'what?' all you want and they can't get angry. They can't get angry because your ear doesn't work. That's like getting angry at a paraplegic for not walking to the shops with you. You know who you are, you disgust me. But it also means I'm in a constant pain. Which means I get frustrated because I can't function properly. Which means I get passive-aggressive. Not a good sign, but since recently I haven't had as much time to talk to the boyfriend, it is understandable.
They call it a 'man period'. Whatever it is, I'm just relieved I haven't had to stick anything in my foof.
I spent a rather enjoyable couple of days in Greenwich visiting my best friend Liam at his digs. We did the things we used to do round each others homes before we both left, which made me really nostalgic. We went down the pub and, of course, we didn't get stabbed (for inner London, I'm impressed). The only bone of contention was with the fact that my ear started playing up whilst I was down there. So I don't think he relished me hogging his laptop to look at local GP surgeries! I loved the time I spent down there and I met some lovely people. Here's hoping the next nice place I get to visit has plenty of the same (hint hint - Tulsa, hint hint).
I also lived in Maccy D's for those couple of days. I was pissing fries and dumping nuggets at the end.
It's going to be a busy couple of days and, hopefully, a profitable one. I'm just really hoping Worcester speed up paying me back on my transport expenses. That's £50 I need to cover my overdraft!! But with resubmissions, creative art, PE, milk, pancake day AND postage of a special present to the States (Airsure fecking rules) all within the space of 48 hours, I can't say I'm relishing doing all of this whilst registering for a GP and writing more poetry. Oh, and there's the small issue of getting home next weekend!!
Something tells me once this term is finished, you'll see a happier, healthier David.
Or I could look at it and say 'I GOT 1000!!!!!'. Celebratory oxygen for all! It's on me.
I have an ear infection. There is only one upshot to that. Whenever someone tries to talk to you in your bad ear, you can say 'what?' all you want and they can't get angry. They can't get angry because your ear doesn't work. That's like getting angry at a paraplegic for not walking to the shops with you. You know who you are, you disgust me. But it also means I'm in a constant pain. Which means I get frustrated because I can't function properly. Which means I get passive-aggressive. Not a good sign, but since recently I haven't had as much time to talk to the boyfriend, it is understandable.
They call it a 'man period'. Whatever it is, I'm just relieved I haven't had to stick anything in my foof.
I spent a rather enjoyable couple of days in Greenwich visiting my best friend Liam at his digs. We did the things we used to do round each others homes before we both left, which made me really nostalgic. We went down the pub and, of course, we didn't get stabbed (for inner London, I'm impressed). The only bone of contention was with the fact that my ear started playing up whilst I was down there. So I don't think he relished me hogging his laptop to look at local GP surgeries! I loved the time I spent down there and I met some lovely people. Here's hoping the next nice place I get to visit has plenty of the same (hint hint - Tulsa, hint hint).
I also lived in Maccy D's for those couple of days. I was pissing fries and dumping nuggets at the end.
It's going to be a busy couple of days and, hopefully, a profitable one. I'm just really hoping Worcester speed up paying me back on my transport expenses. That's £50 I need to cover my overdraft!! But with resubmissions, creative art, PE, milk, pancake day AND postage of a special present to the States (Airsure fecking rules) all within the space of 48 hours, I can't say I'm relishing doing all of this whilst registering for a GP and writing more poetry. Oh, and there's the small issue of getting home next weekend!!
Something tells me once this term is finished, you'll see a happier, healthier David.
Monday, 30 January 2012
163 Days To Go
Back to lectures. From the unconfined joy of the random utterances of little children who cannot tell the difference between an essence and a fictional sci-fi monster (The Nativity, t'was a laugh), I find myself back in lecture theatres and classrooms becoming, once again, the student. I'll be honest, I enjoyed laying in my bed watching endless reruns of Family Guy more. Heck, I enjoyed filling in my PDP more than learning what it means to be an 'Inspirational Teacher, Part 2' (Thinking someone's nicking their titles for their presentations from a certain someone...) but it just felt that we were back and they hadn't quite got why we were back. Like, we were supposed to be these awesome teachers now. And we've got the same sort of thing on Thursday.
Part 2. Clever. Cheats.
I'm about to go to drinks for my friend's 19th. As she was 19 whilst we were on school placement (and when I had money), she pushed it back to here (when we aren't on placement and I am without money). It's my first 'uni' drink in about 4 months. Not gonna lie, I am excited to get with the party atmosphere, but I'm glad I'm going early. Drinking was, but is no longer, my thing. I'm over the stage in my life where I drank because I was unhappy, much rather preferring a sober alternative. Too many bad things happen when drink is in you, not least when I was... nearly taken brutal advantage of. Having those who care around you, especially my BF, makes for the kind of atmosphere that I crave, I yearn for. My BF's concern for my drinking at university makes me really value him.
He doesn't mind that I'm broke though. It was all for a good cause.
Part 2. Clever. Cheats.
I'm about to go to drinks for my friend's 19th. As she was 19 whilst we were on school placement (and when I had money), she pushed it back to here (when we aren't on placement and I am without money). It's my first 'uni' drink in about 4 months. Not gonna lie, I am excited to get with the party atmosphere, but I'm glad I'm going early. Drinking was, but is no longer, my thing. I'm over the stage in my life where I drank because I was unhappy, much rather preferring a sober alternative. Too many bad things happen when drink is in you, not least when I was... nearly taken brutal advantage of. Having those who care around you, especially my BF, makes for the kind of atmosphere that I crave, I yearn for. My BF's concern for my drinking at university makes me really value him.
He doesn't mind that I'm broke though. It was all for a good cause.
Sunday, 29 January 2012
164 Days To Go: Part 1
Worcester's internet is behaving much like the Hokey Cokey. In, then out, then in again, then out again. Kind of like a party freak with alzheimers it was. So for the large part of this morning, I was panicking down Kik to the BF wondering what the hell my internet was playing at. Finally (at 2pm no less), it seems to have sorted everything out. So in that time, you'd think I'd do something productive? Nope. I decide to have breakfast late, lunch early and shower, when my time may have been better spent trying to find out where my new bank card is.
Not a worry now, but when April rolls around... I don't wanna be down a grand like last time...
I cross off every day on my 'Uni' year planner. What that means to me is that I can visually see how close it is to the end of the year and just what I'll have left. If I said that after January, I'll have a symmetrical two story short section, that won't mean a think to you. To me, it represents a lot of time already gone. Getting to colour in big blocks of time is always fun after a month as well, right now it stands at 5 and a half months until I get to board that plane and take off.
11 assignments to go though...
Now, not that I'm complaining or anything... but February is kind of a busy month. Whilst it'll be a month of hard work, settling down and house-hunting, it's also a rather sociable month by my standards. My flatmates' 21st (my first ever 21st... bit surreal) and travelling down to Greenwich to see my best mate at his uni (to get slowly sloshed at the pub), it's all a bit of a jam-packed month. But after that... only two more 'full' months at university and my first year is complete... my heart is beating faster just typing that!
And I'm going blonde again. That's where you stop reading this and 'sigh' again...
Not a worry now, but when April rolls around... I don't wanna be down a grand like last time...
I cross off every day on my 'Uni' year planner. What that means to me is that I can visually see how close it is to the end of the year and just what I'll have left. If I said that after January, I'll have a symmetrical two story short section, that won't mean a think to you. To me, it represents a lot of time already gone. Getting to colour in big blocks of time is always fun after a month as well, right now it stands at 5 and a half months until I get to board that plane and take off.
11 assignments to go though...
Now, not that I'm complaining or anything... but February is kind of a busy month. Whilst it'll be a month of hard work, settling down and house-hunting, it's also a rather sociable month by my standards. My flatmates' 21st (my first ever 21st... bit surreal) and travelling down to Greenwich to see my best mate at his uni (to get slowly sloshed at the pub), it's all a bit of a jam-packed month. But after that... only two more 'full' months at university and my first year is complete... my heart is beating faster just typing that!
And I'm going blonde again. That's where you stop reading this and 'sigh' again...
Saturday, 28 January 2012
165 Days To Go: Part 1
Apologies for the lack of activity recently. With placement getting a hell of a lot busier, the temptation to lay down and fall asleep has never been greater. I'm glad I spelt 'greater' right here, I didn't in my phonics assignment (B+ though... stunning really...) and now I am frantically looking through all of my (submitted) essays in the hope I didn't make the same mistake. 2 B+'s though, I'm Mr Consistency. Pretty darn good seeing as the last essay he ever wrote before university only got him a D. And that was at A-Level.
A-Levels harder than university? Discuss, bitch and argue that one. On the house.
In 5 months and 13 days, I'll be on a plane and cacking it at 36,000 feet. I'm cacking it at sea level to be honest. This last week was so damn painful. The bonds you form with those you haven't had physical contact with are only pulled together by the increased solace and strength we find in their voice, their picture, their movement and their availability to be present. I got a total of 6 hours last week with my BF. To put that in context, on any normal lecture day at Uni, I'd get 3 hours on average. I spent the whole of last week spending as much time with him as I would in 2 days of a normal week. It was damn painful, I'd only get in to a timer of around an hour to get my stuff done and still have some time with him. Falling asleep on HIS break was not a high point either.
Still, the golden globe reminded me he was here. Always.
This placement has been just spectacular. The kids were amazing (including one that, even though they ignored me for half a day because I placed them with someone they didn't like, said I was an 'awesome' teacher!), the staff were so friendly and forthcoming and my colleagues on placement with me were such a hoot. Teaching has a borderline military camaraderie whereby everyone is in the same boat and needs/wants others to succeed in order to progress themselves. We weren't scared of failing what we had to do, but all our lessons were spectacularly well run and produced fantastic end products.
The 'thank you' card they made... I thought I cried enough on my birthday cards...
Longer blog this one to make up for the fact that I haven't done one in a week, although the variety of people who read this is truly remarkable. My flatmate reads this as well and she said I was 'some sort of celebrity' because I mentioned listening to Jessie J. I've rarely woken up laughing but that comment just made me giggle so much, she's such an outgoing and lovely person, can't wait to see her Sunday night! It also raised the point that today was the day applications for student finance next year started.
It's not about the money, money, money...
A-Levels harder than university? Discuss, bitch and argue that one. On the house.
In 5 months and 13 days, I'll be on a plane and cacking it at 36,000 feet. I'm cacking it at sea level to be honest. This last week was so damn painful. The bonds you form with those you haven't had physical contact with are only pulled together by the increased solace and strength we find in their voice, their picture, their movement and their availability to be present. I got a total of 6 hours last week with my BF. To put that in context, on any normal lecture day at Uni, I'd get 3 hours on average. I spent the whole of last week spending as much time with him as I would in 2 days of a normal week. It was damn painful, I'd only get in to a timer of around an hour to get my stuff done and still have some time with him. Falling asleep on HIS break was not a high point either.
Still, the golden globe reminded me he was here. Always.
This placement has been just spectacular. The kids were amazing (including one that, even though they ignored me for half a day because I placed them with someone they didn't like, said I was an 'awesome' teacher!), the staff were so friendly and forthcoming and my colleagues on placement with me were such a hoot. Teaching has a borderline military camaraderie whereby everyone is in the same boat and needs/wants others to succeed in order to progress themselves. We weren't scared of failing what we had to do, but all our lessons were spectacularly well run and produced fantastic end products.
The 'thank you' card they made... I thought I cried enough on my birthday cards...
Longer blog this one to make up for the fact that I haven't done one in a week, although the variety of people who read this is truly remarkable. My flatmate reads this as well and she said I was 'some sort of celebrity' because I mentioned listening to Jessie J. I've rarely woken up laughing but that comment just made me giggle so much, she's such an outgoing and lovely person, can't wait to see her Sunday night! It also raised the point that today was the day applications for student finance next year started.
It's not about the money, money, money...
Saturday, 14 January 2012
179 Days To Go: Part 2
Last blog as an 18 year old. Would have been more significant if I had been blogging since I turned 18. Alas, a blogger party and present is in order. Who wants to spread this blog?
I had a message this morning from an old friend. Haven't spoken to him in years and he set a status a few days ago slamming bloggers turning FB into a blogging site. Yet he came round and said he liked the blog and wished me luck with it. It meant quite a lot, seeing as (when we used to talk and associate) we always ribbed each other and had a banter-ish friendship which wasn't that close. I'm not saying we used to punch each other playfully, but it's nice that, since I left Essex for university, everyone else seems to be less banter and more canter with their lives and conversations.
It felt good to have that message. It felt better to see he hadn't unadded me. I'm a very lonely person by trade.
Just got out of the shower for the last time as an 18 year old as well. As I see it, it's the last time I can enjoy a shower for leisure purposes. Now I'm older, showers are for getting rid of the old man smell, creating the early onset of wrinkles and for bleeding the life insurance companies clean (2000 shower deaths a year can't be wrong!). Since Worcester got the hot water permanently working, I haven't been able to stop touching my wet self (dirty, huh? You twitched a little, I saw it), it's such a relief to create steam.
If I didn't turn you gay, I definitely turned you Christian.
I must make an apology to Sharon. I seriously can't read and I called you 'vain' instead of playing a fun word game. In this world of miscommunication, purple monkey dishwasher Sean Kingston butterfinger leather wallet. And I am sorry.
A pint on me if you can spot the Simpsons reference.
45 MINUTES TILL MY 19TH BIRTHDAY!!!!! :D
I had a message this morning from an old friend. Haven't spoken to him in years and he set a status a few days ago slamming bloggers turning FB into a blogging site. Yet he came round and said he liked the blog and wished me luck with it. It meant quite a lot, seeing as (when we used to talk and associate) we always ribbed each other and had a banter-ish friendship which wasn't that close. I'm not saying we used to punch each other playfully, but it's nice that, since I left Essex for university, everyone else seems to be less banter and more canter with their lives and conversations.
It felt good to have that message. It felt better to see he hadn't unadded me. I'm a very lonely person by trade.
Just got out of the shower for the last time as an 18 year old as well. As I see it, it's the last time I can enjoy a shower for leisure purposes. Now I'm older, showers are for getting rid of the old man smell, creating the early onset of wrinkles and for bleeding the life insurance companies clean (2000 shower deaths a year can't be wrong!). Since Worcester got the hot water permanently working, I haven't been able to stop touching my wet self (dirty, huh? You twitched a little, I saw it), it's such a relief to create steam.
If I didn't turn you gay, I definitely turned you Christian.
I must make an apology to Sharon. I seriously can't read and I called you 'vain' instead of playing a fun word game. In this world of miscommunication, purple monkey dishwasher Sean Kingston butterfinger leather wallet. And I am sorry.
A pint on me if you can spot the Simpsons reference.
45 MINUTES TILL MY 19TH BIRTHDAY!!!!! :D
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