131 Days To Go

I'm in the mood for summer. And this time, not just July 10th. No, I mean some proper summer. The sun rising at 6am, the sun setting at 8/9pm and the days where the lessons take place outside. Why am I in this mood? Because it's the last time I was so truly happy. The hot days, the hotter friendships and the hottest moods, I cannot wait to wake up to bright sunlight and look forward to a day where I learn with the windows open and learn without the mind being closed. Plus, in retrospect, last summer was about success and change. This summer is all about fun and frolics abroad and at home.

Oh, and the summer playlist. That will be mentioned a lot more soon. Hint - Smooth makes it.

I slept amazingly well last night considering what happened the previous day. I woke up today to something that has put a permanent smile on my face for the whole of today. So, truly, the last 24hrs have been utter bliss. Steven messaged me whilst I was alseep. You'll read this and think 'what's so special about that?', but it's the fact that rarely it ever happens. So, rarely, he takes time out of whatever he is doing to message me, knowing I'm not going to reply. He just wants to talk to me when I can't. In some way, I get a lot of happiness from that. And having woken up to see that, I feel ever so loved.

It feels like I'm being touched by an angel when he does that. I know Steven will have something to say about that...

Lectures today brought home an important message. In 131 days time, I'll finally be in front of someone I really want to listen to and to learn from. I'm not going to lie, there are indecencies I'd rather suffer than sit through a Maths lecture, so it makes the want for it all to end so much bigger. I'm paying near enough £3.5k a year to be told that I can't read a calculator to tell me what a calculator should say. (Confused? So was I.) It brought back the simple happiness I derived from the small things in life as well. Happiness such as winding up one of my best friends about her 'lovers', happiness such as a Strongbow whilst playing pool with a friend, happiness such as listening to the music you loved long ago.

A weird mix, Blondie, alcohol and lovers. Anyone would think that I went back in time to get laid...

150 Days To Go

So, I only discovered this morning that my mum reads these blogs. Which is really heart-warming in one sense and scary in the other. Because these blogs are raw, from the heart. Something I've always been scared of is judgement and I always want to be judged in a good light by my parents. The fact that I have 150 days till I get to Gatwick and go to Tulsa makes it even more scary that I still worry primarily about what people think of me. Is this the concern of all teenage boys?

I panic myself easily. You don't need to prank me, I'll do it myself.

So I seem to have come down with a cold. But I never encountered anyone with a cold, so I know exactly why I got it. It happened after the pantomime I directed finished. Now I've got it after going broke and signing for a house. It's a stress related illness. I want this summer to roll around so badly that the time I'm not doing anything, I want it to end so I can be busy and kill the time till Tulsa.

I'm ill on my break but well during the work. Irony?

I'm going to see my best friend Liam at Greenwich University on Thursday. I can't wait, it makes me feel like a real Uni student. Everyone I know has had friends come up from their respective places to come visit and I get to do that soon. Hopefully he'll do the same at Easter. It actually means an awful lot to go down there and spend some time with him but it means I might sacrifice some time with my BF. I hope he understands how much it'll hurt that I won't get to sleep with him on Skype for a couple of days.

Anytime without him hurts. Lectures hurt. Work hurts. Love hurts.

163 Days To Go

Back to lectures. From the unconfined joy of the random utterances of little children who cannot tell the difference between an essence and a fictional sci-fi monster (The Nativity, t'was a laugh), I find myself back in lecture theatres and classrooms becoming, once again, the student. I'll be honest, I enjoyed laying in my bed watching endless reruns of Family Guy more. Heck, I enjoyed filling in my PDP more than learning what it means to be an 'Inspirational Teacher, Part 2' (Thinking someone's nicking their titles for their presentations from a certain someone...) but it just felt that we were back and they hadn't quite got why we were back. Like, we were supposed to be these awesome teachers now. And we've got the same sort of thing on Thursday.

Part 2. Clever. Cheats.

I'm about to go to drinks for my friend's 19th. As she was 19 whilst we were on school placement (and when I had money), she pushed it back to here (when we aren't on placement and I am without money). It's my first 'uni' drink in about 4 months. Not gonna lie, I am excited to get with the party atmosphere, but I'm glad I'm going early. Drinking was, but is no longer, my thing. I'm over the stage in my life where I drank because I was unhappy, much rather preferring a sober alternative. Too many bad things happen when drink is in you, not least when I was... nearly taken brutal advantage of. Having those who care around you, especially my BF, makes for the kind of atmosphere that I crave, I yearn for. My BF's concern for my drinking at university makes me really value him.

He doesn't mind that I'm broke though. It was all for a good cause.

165 Days To Go: Part 1

Apologies for the lack of activity recently. With placement getting a hell of a lot busier, the temptation to lay down and fall asleep has never been greater. I'm glad I spelt 'greater' right here, I didn't in my phonics assignment (B+ though... stunning really...) and now I am frantically looking through all of my (submitted) essays in the hope I didn't make the same mistake. 2 B+'s though, I'm Mr Consistency. Pretty darn good seeing as the last essay he ever wrote before university only got him a D. And that was at A-Level.

A-Levels harder than university? Discuss, bitch and argue that one. On the house.

In 5 months and 13 days, I'll be on a plane and cacking it at 36,000 feet. I'm cacking it at sea level to be honest. This last week was so damn painful. The bonds you form with those you haven't had physical contact with are only pulled together by the increased solace and strength we find in their voice, their picture, their movement and their availability to be present. I got a total of 6 hours last week with my BF. To put that in context, on any normal lecture day at Uni, I'd get 3 hours on average. I spent the whole of last week spending as much time with him as I would in 2 days of a normal week. It was damn painful, I'd only get in to a timer of around an hour to get my stuff done and still have some time with him. Falling asleep on HIS break was not a high point either.

Still, the golden globe reminded me he was here. Always.

This placement has been just spectacular. The kids were amazing (including one that, even though they ignored me for half a day because I placed them with someone they didn't like, said I was an 'awesome' teacher!), the staff were so friendly and forthcoming and my colleagues on placement with me were such a hoot. Teaching has a borderline military camaraderie whereby everyone is in the same boat and needs/wants others to succeed in order to progress themselves. We weren't scared of failing what we had to do, but all our lessons were spectacularly well run and produced fantastic end products.

The 'thank you' card they made... I thought I cried enough on my birthday cards...

Longer blog this one to make up for the fact that I haven't done one in a week, although the variety of people who read this is truly remarkable. My flatmate reads this as well and she said I was 'some sort of celebrity' because I mentioned listening to Jessie J. I've rarely woken up laughing but that comment just made me giggle so much, she's such an outgoing and lovely person, can't wait to see her Sunday night! It also raised the point that today was the day applications for student finance next year started.

It's not about the money, money, money...