Saturday 11 February 2012

151 Days To Go

OK, so, yet again, I haven't blogged. This is down to several major factors that meant the last thing I wanted to do was talk about it. Then, whilst crying to a flatmate, I realised that I could be crying in his arms AND actually look for some help. He sat me down and he ended my panic really well (cheers James). In the mix of everything, I just wanted time to myself and my BF. I didn't want to label myself as 'obsessed' over what was going on, but I quickly realised that I was 'growing up'. And here's why.

And this is where I might start blubbing. Although I did promise James I wouldn't...

We got a house. It was the most part of Wednesday where househunting took centre stage. Our first viewing got cancelled but thanks to Tish and Nicola, we had more viewings. We found a great house with a reasonably good rent (only a couple of more quid than the place I'm in now per year) and a lovely view and room. It just worried me that I now have no money. At all. And whilst this was an eventful happening, this was not the only thing that happened that Wednesday...

And this is where I might start blubbing. Although I did promise myself I wouldn't...

It was my flatmates' 21st (Happy Birthday Alex!) and I promised I would get drunk. And I did. A little too much. The over-riding memory of that night was, basically, drinking two bottles of wine, gin and tonic, sambuca shots, pleading with an Indian man not to fine me after projectiling (for those 'cultured' others, I vomited rather violently and it got hang time) onto his cab and pleading with Steven not to leave me for being so wasted. Overall, it was an amazing night (even if I did get kicked out of the club) but I really wish I didn't drink so much that I felt so crap afterwards. I definitely remember talking to Steven though...

And this is where I might start blubbing. Although I did promise Steven I wouldn't...

I must confess. I felt that, after the late night tomfoolery, Steven would dump my candy ass (Rock to beat Cena) for being so stupid and reckless. Yet he, although he didn't look best pleased, stayed and wanted to talk and wanted me to have a good night. I've known couples to end because of drinking issues smaller than my one night stand, so I was so grateful that he wanted to hear me out and let me speak about how bad I felt that I did the things I did. I enjoyed myself, but too excessively. He didn't flip out at me and I know that because of this, he truly truly does have the heart that I have always wanted to love me.

And this is where I might start blubbing. Although I did promise my family I wouldn't...

I'm growing up. I'm doing it fast. Financially, I'm fecked. Friendship-wise, I'm doing better than expected. Academically, I failed my Maths assignment. Life has evened itself out. That sums up adulthood to me. You'll get by so long as one thing is going right. And so long as I have that healthy balance of school, life and love, I can't fail as I leave childhood and truly enter the world of being an adult.

I can't lie though, I'm damn scared.

1 comment:

  1. Lovely words David, major cuddles when you come home on the 2nd..............now I'm blubbing

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