Monday, 30 January 2012

163 Days To Go

Back to lectures. From the unconfined joy of the random utterances of little children who cannot tell the difference between an essence and a fictional sci-fi monster (The Nativity, t'was a laugh), I find myself back in lecture theatres and classrooms becoming, once again, the student. I'll be honest, I enjoyed laying in my bed watching endless reruns of Family Guy more. Heck, I enjoyed filling in my PDP more than learning what it means to be an 'Inspirational Teacher, Part 2' (Thinking someone's nicking their titles for their presentations from a certain someone...) but it just felt that we were back and they hadn't quite got why we were back. Like, we were supposed to be these awesome teachers now. And we've got the same sort of thing on Thursday.

Part 2. Clever. Cheats.

I'm about to go to drinks for my friend's 19th. As she was 19 whilst we were on school placement (and when I had money), she pushed it back to here (when we aren't on placement and I am without money). It's my first 'uni' drink in about 4 months. Not gonna lie, I am excited to get with the party atmosphere, but I'm glad I'm going early. Drinking was, but is no longer, my thing. I'm over the stage in my life where I drank because I was unhappy, much rather preferring a sober alternative. Too many bad things happen when drink is in you, not least when I was... nearly taken brutal advantage of. Having those who care around you, especially my BF, makes for the kind of atmosphere that I crave, I yearn for. My BF's concern for my drinking at university makes me really value him.

He doesn't mind that I'm broke though. It was all for a good cause.

Sunday, 29 January 2012

164 Days To Go: How To Comment

Now, silly me totally forgot that if people wanted to comment, they should have the right and ability to find out how. So, this blog will be as normal, but firstly here are some instructions for if you wish to comment.

1) Find the blog entry you wish to comment on. You can do this by either scrolling down or picking a blog entry from the archive on the right sidebar.
2) Scroll down to the end of the blog entry you wish to comment on.
3) There should be a hyperlink which states how many comments there are on that post (eg - 0 comments). Click that hyperlink.
4) On the new screen, it should tell you how many comments there are (if there are any, it will display them) and a little lower will be a 'Post a Comment' box.
5) Type your comment into the box. It can be as long, as short and as hurtful as you wish!
6) You can choose to comment with a profile (if you have a Google account or an IM account as such) as either with an identity or as 'anonymous'. If you post anonymous but wish to tell me who you are, please do so on the comment itself.

You now know how to comment! No excuses now...

I got speaking to my BF today (after he woke up... sleeptalking is not cool people...) and I was discussing something that, I thought, was pretty weird. Having bought the ticket, I've had images over and over again of that first meeting. I've replayed the same scenario a million times and I asked him if he did the same. He said no. So... am I overthinking things? Am I becoming a bit over-bearing on the issue? We (as a race) are profoundly selfish, such is the overuse of personal pronouns such as 'I' being used far too often for its own good. But I can't help but feel that maybe I am making a mistake by thinking about something that's happening way down the line. I must be wrong to think these things.

The BF put it perfectly into perspective. I'm surprised he hasn't freaked out yet.

There's something about this weather this week. It's either mild or freezing and yet I still feel so boiling. It doesn't help that our kitchen radiator, no matter what temperature setting you put it on, insists on maintaining its 'kiln' setting. I'm feeling more and more lethargic every day and I know it's not lack of sleep because any sleep I do get actually has a rejuvenation effect. So... this contrast in heat is going to be a real challenge these next few weeks.

40C in the States though when I visit. Winter tan, anyone? 

164 Days To Go: Part 1

Worcester's internet is behaving much like the Hokey Cokey. In, then out, then in again, then out again. Kind of like a party freak with alzheimers it was. So for the large part of this morning, I was panicking down Kik to the BF wondering what the hell my internet was playing at. Finally (at 2pm no less), it seems to have sorted everything out. So in that time, you'd think I'd do something productive? Nope. I decide to have breakfast late, lunch early and shower, when my time may have been better spent trying to find out where my new bank card is.

Not a worry now, but when April rolls around... I don't wanna be down a grand like last time...

I cross off every day on my 'Uni' year planner. What that means to me is that I can visually see how close it is to the end of the year and just what I'll have left. If I said that after January, I'll have a symmetrical two story short section, that won't mean a think to you. To me, it represents a lot of time already gone. Getting to colour in big blocks of time is always fun after a month as well, right now it stands at 5 and a half months until I get to board that plane and take off.

11 assignments to go though...

Now, not that I'm complaining or anything... but February is kind of a busy month. Whilst it'll be a month of hard work, settling down and house-hunting, it's also a rather sociable month by my standards. My flatmates' 21st (my first ever 21st... bit surreal) and travelling down to Greenwich to see my best mate at his uni (to get slowly sloshed at the pub), it's all a bit of a jam-packed month. But after that... only two more 'full' months at university and my first year is complete... my heart is beating faster just typing that!

And I'm going blonde again. That's where you stop reading this and 'sigh' again...

Saturday, 28 January 2012

165 Days To Go: Part 2

With all this newly emerged free time, I got quite a bit done today. Stuff that I couldn't do mainly because I was out of the house trying to teach kids that 'The Tyger' is just as thrilling as 'Smack Ma Bitch Up'. It's a hard task. I sorted out my SE folder (a day late, go figure), got through 5 discs of Family Guy and rediscovered that my purpose in life was to totally remember every single Eurovision entry from the last few years in my CD collection and become moved yet again by my true ability to mime along to 'My Heart Is Yours'. Not only that, started listening, again, to Rascal Flatts. I've truly missed them amongst all the Chase and Status I've been subjected to. And all of the BF' heavy metal when he plays it.

He has heavy metal. If he plays it, I bring Steps to America. His call.

I managed to make something even I didn't expect to ever exist. I had streaky bacon that was out of date tomorrow so I needed to use it today. But my bread was out of date. I had two options... straight bacon or have something out of my cupboard and mix it in. Considering the second option of the latter would have been tea bags, you would have hoped I would have been better prepared for this situation. Turns out I had Tomato and Bacon Soup. A BLT without the health or the L. In liquid form. My ability to improvise was tested and my drama background totally came through.

Still tasted like a BLT without the L. Crap.

Tonight, it sunk in. Today, I saw what my course was all about. Not any card from the kids, not any good marks from the assignments, nothing in this country. I had a bad morning and this evening, me and the BF had a good hour and a bit together just chatting, just laughing. I realised that the money I'd spent to get there, the money I'm spending on this course, it's so I can finally get what the world takes for granted. I can get what many people have experienced but probably never thought it was so special. And boy I'm excited for when it happens. For 6 weeks it happens everyday hopefully.

I'll get to see that smile, that laugh, that face without pixels. And I'll reflect it right back.

165 Days To Go: Part 1

Apologies for the lack of activity recently. With placement getting a hell of a lot busier, the temptation to lay down and fall asleep has never been greater. I'm glad I spelt 'greater' right here, I didn't in my phonics assignment (B+ though... stunning really...) and now I am frantically looking through all of my (submitted) essays in the hope I didn't make the same mistake. 2 B+'s though, I'm Mr Consistency. Pretty darn good seeing as the last essay he ever wrote before university only got him a D. And that was at A-Level.

A-Levels harder than university? Discuss, bitch and argue that one. On the house.

In 5 months and 13 days, I'll be on a plane and cacking it at 36,000 feet. I'm cacking it at sea level to be honest. This last week was so damn painful. The bonds you form with those you haven't had physical contact with are only pulled together by the increased solace and strength we find in their voice, their picture, their movement and their availability to be present. I got a total of 6 hours last week with my BF. To put that in context, on any normal lecture day at Uni, I'd get 3 hours on average. I spent the whole of last week spending as much time with him as I would in 2 days of a normal week. It was damn painful, I'd only get in to a timer of around an hour to get my stuff done and still have some time with him. Falling asleep on HIS break was not a high point either.

Still, the golden globe reminded me he was here. Always.

This placement has been just spectacular. The kids were amazing (including one that, even though they ignored me for half a day because I placed them with someone they didn't like, said I was an 'awesome' teacher!), the staff were so friendly and forthcoming and my colleagues on placement with me were such a hoot. Teaching has a borderline military camaraderie whereby everyone is in the same boat and needs/wants others to succeed in order to progress themselves. We weren't scared of failing what we had to do, but all our lessons were spectacularly well run and produced fantastic end products.

The 'thank you' card they made... I thought I cried enough on my birthday cards...

Longer blog this one to make up for the fact that I haven't done one in a week, although the variety of people who read this is truly remarkable. My flatmate reads this as well and she said I was 'some sort of celebrity' because I mentioned listening to Jessie J. I've rarely woken up laughing but that comment just made me giggle so much, she's such an outgoing and lovely person, can't wait to see her Sunday night! It also raised the point that today was the day applications for student finance next year started.

It's not about the money, money, money...

Sunday, 22 January 2012

171 Days To Go

So after a rather varied kind of night, I got up (yet again) at 9am. Not because I chose to, but bloody Skype kept failing. The BF's internet was being dodgy and I ended up getting up an hour early to start my day. Although it has its perks. I started watching 'Mrs Brown's Boys'. There seriously is something about a foul mouthed old woman (Brendan O'Carroll) and a TV show that breaks the 4th wall that seriously has me hooked. Although I totally forgot to buffer it when I went to have a shower. Therefore, t'was laggy.

I'm a fecking egit.

I was shopping in Worcester today. After realising I was an incredibly selfish and horrible person thanks to me completely disregarding the fact that I was buying things with money that wasn't mine. I saw something that I never thought I'd see. I used to eat chocolate biscuits that were little balls of biscuits. I saw the same biscuits... but flat. I nearly cried.

What can I say... I'm a balls kinda guy.

With one more week of placement left, I'm left to wonder just if I can do it on a regular basis. I'm so damn tired, I've fallen out with my loved ones twice. I'm left confused after each day as to whether I'm on top of all the work I need to do. I love my BF but I get cranky whenever I say something stupid and it brings it all down. Love being affected by early mornings is serious... and scary.

He'll read this and 'sigh'. I'll stop apologising when I stop f***ing up.

Saturday, 21 January 2012

172 Days To Go

Having finally got a few days off to relax, I believed my body was ready to say hello and goodbye to the new day in the same vein as someone in solitary confinement. Without seeing it in person. However, a text from my mum later and I'm up and awake at 9am and not able to get back to sleep. So... another 12 hour day of some kind makes up my (supposedly) productive Saturday. My to-do list this week involves a plan, a presentation and preparation of work. In other words, PPP Saturday.

I made you say P three times. He he.

My ordered shopping came through yesterday to a few surprises. I ordered my shopping at 11pm on a Wednesday. That meant I slept-ordered. In the same vein as sleep talking, I ordered quite poorly. Instead of fresh milk and sugar, I ordered 4 packs of bacon. Instead of ordering my lettuce and peppers I wanted, I ordered 10 bars of milk chocolate. So basically... I have a very student-like cupboard, full of tasty crap. So, on the one hand, I won't be eating healthily for a while. On the plus side, root beer is stocked.

Wish I ordered worse and got some vanilla ice cream... that's a hell of a drink...

Thanks to a recommendation from someone who follows this blog, I got listening to a little bit of Jessie J. I have to admit, my first impression of her as an artist consisted of hiding my face behind a pillow because jewel encrusted lips frightened the hell out of me. But she recommended 'Who's Laughing Now?' by her and it seriously got me thinking. I was made to feel worthless for a number of years by a few people over my love life and my life in general. Turns out I'm nearing 7 months with the BF and they've all ended up either in prison or single.

Who's laughing now? Not that I'm vengeful but I pissed myself when I found out.

Friday, 20 January 2012

173 Days To Go

So I haven't blogged in a little and here's why. I love kids. But I hate them. I do it in equal measure. So, kids is the reason. After starting placement, suddenly things really picked up. Workload coupled with late nights meant I was coming home shattered, falling asleep on Skype to the BF. Twice. He doesn't bore me, trust me, his voice is a huge relief after hearing 300 kids scream and shout that fractions and poetry is hard to solve and write respectively.

He still sent me to sleep though. Can't argue facts.

The kids on placement are so sweet. As per any good professional, I am not disclosing location or names. But they are such a good bunch. I loved teaching my parts of some lessons, although I will say I seem to be the sterner of the other colleagues I work with. Evil Mr Fulton, they call me. I walk in in a cape and kill them all. I kid of course, but it has changed totally the way I view kids behaviour. Essentially, make your mark. If you don't have kids, follow this advice.

Just don't hit them. Ok... whilst they aren't looking.

It hit me whilst I was on placement just what a huge change I was making in my life. I bought an £800 ticket... and I was turning up to placement the next day. Just what a massive chance I was taking, a huge gamble on the pure essence of what love is. I was willing to make financial chances in my life as well as huge lifestyle ones in order to make something I really wanted to work, work. My focus for the whole of my Thursday wasn't on teaching but if I had made a huge mistake. And then a child made me realise what I was doing... it was all the right thing to do. They said to me this, without any hesitation or lie...

'Mr Fulton, I love America. Do you love America?'

The kid made me keep on believing. Keep on dreaming. The want to be there drives me every day.

Tuesday, 17 January 2012

176 Days To Go

Blogging from the staff room doesn't only make you unsociable... It also makes you look busy and that suits me just fine. I'm not a huge fan of small talk but if someone wants to engage in discussion with me in school, I'd rather it was more... less teacher-y. It makes me feel so responsible! I'm not responsible, why, only last week I lost my lesson observations.

I'm a professional. (You'll hear this a lot before the trip. It's best said in a sarcastically young voice.)

Getting up early isn't doing my body any favours. I don't think anyone noticed but I was drifting off during a lesson observation. Not because the lesson was boring but because when the only thing that's been keeping you awake goes to sleep himself, you tend to wonder why you yourself isn't under a blanket.

Preferably with him. Giggity.

Monday, 16 January 2012

177 Days To Go

After the first day of a block placement entangled with pure joy and pure tiredness, I can easily say that I really want to be a primary school teacher with my own classroom, my own class, my own TA and my own wage. This startling conclusion came, not in the classroom setting, but in my own abode. Cleaning my room from an organisational pigsty to something cleaner than the Pope's underwear. My room looked dirtier than a priests' CRB check but after battling the fiendish monster, I feel more organised and prepared than ever to live a life.

And all because I can see the original dead spiders. Ah, bless.

Having rattled out a pretty intense first day on placement (I led some kids in an investigation about science and sat in a 90 minute planning meeting), I came home and went STRAIGHT to Skype. An instant beeline to the laptop to talk with my BF. But... I could only spend 20 minutes with him. For the rest of the time I would be talking to him would then be taken up with dinner, chores, planning, organisation and a private matter. And I truly felt awful, because I vowed to him that I would spend as much time as I could with him, even if it meant putting everything else on hold. I was so glad he was so understanding, but he knows how much I am hurting from not being able to contact him as much today. It got me proper down.

I'll do anything for a job at the end of it, but only one where I can talk to him for a while in between...

I reckon I'll average getting about 4 hours sleep a night for this placement. Whilst I'm still reeling from the fact that I'm going on holiday, my head still isn't fully clear yet. I celebrated 6 months, I turned 19 and I'm teaching my first lesson in under 9 days. With all these big events happening so suddenly, I'm scared of overloading. And with the lack of sleep, I'm really scared that, come weekends... I might not wake up to blog...

It's like a slightly more believable version of 'Saw'. This will be your worst nightmare.

Sunday, 15 January 2012

178 Days To Go: The Birthday/6 Months Blog

I celebrated my 19th birthday today, knowing that this day marked huge changes in my life that would impact me and my choices forever. I had 2 slices of cake today, not the whole cake.


Today, I bought my ticket to the States. That's £800 paid for the greatest 6 week period of my life. And the feeling of euphoria when I booked it was just epic. Knowing that, in 6 months time, I'll be in Tulsa, OK with the love of my life as we start our journey together. But the feeling was one of relief. This has been hanging over our heads for quite some time, a lot of what ifs and things going wrong. It was off, then on, then off, then on again. Nothing ever ran smoothly until I actually bought the damn thing. My e-ticket takes pride and place on my noticeboard.

Some uni students have photos and posters above their bed. I have my travel itinerary. U jelly?

My birthday was simply magical. Having got up early to Skype with the parents (thank you SOOOOO much for your present!), I settled down for a cosy day with my laptop. Not only was it my birthday, it is 6 months that me and the BF have been dating. It felt awesome that everything came together as it did. With the flatmates somewhat occupied, I just chilled. With tomorrow being the first day of block placement, I didn't want nerves or anxiety creeping into my special day. Just as things started to feel a little lonely (none of my flatmates had said 'happy birthday' at that point due to the fact that my 3rd flatmate wasn't there), they (the other 2 that were here) surprised me with a homemade card and a cake and a note perfect (:P) rendition of 'Happy Birthday'. I burst into tears and hugged them all. They really made today something truly special.

Chocolate cake AND a song? I truly felt unworthy at that point, what had I done to deserve such bliss?

A lovely piece of intimate time with the BF was to follow. I proved to him I could read and we shared our traditional monthly 'Then' moment (Brad Paisley - Then, once a month on our anniversary). Nothing went wrong today. And after visiting my friend Nicola at her flat for another round of cake and singing, it was back to my place. Tish turned up and led me into the second surprise of the day (any more and I would have had a coronary). She got me into my room to talk about the weekend, abruptly left whilst the others decorated the flat with 'happy birthday' banners. They got me into the kitchen, screamed surprise and gave me my gifts. I truly love my flatmates so much for what they did and what they got me, they truly are family to me now.

An effortlessly cool cardigan, a giant mug, two new ties and chocolate. You know when people buy your heart? They (as well as the BF) own it right now.

Placement starts tomorrow. I'm a (19 year old) professional. Good times :)

Saturday, 14 January 2012

179 Days To Go: Part 2

Last blog as an 18 year old. Would have been more significant if I had been blogging since I turned 18. Alas, a blogger party and present is in order. Who wants to spread this blog?

I had a message this morning from an old friend. Haven't spoken to him in years and he set a status a few days ago slamming bloggers turning FB into a blogging site. Yet he came round and said he liked the blog and wished me luck with it. It meant quite a lot, seeing as (when we used to talk and associate) we always ribbed each other and had a banter-ish friendship which wasn't that close. I'm not saying we used to punch each other playfully, but it's nice that, since I left Essex for university, everyone else seems to be less banter and more canter with their lives and conversations.

It felt good to have that message. It felt better to see he hadn't unadded me. I'm a very lonely person by trade.

Just got out of the shower for the last time as an 18 year old as well. As I see it, it's the last time I can enjoy a shower for leisure purposes. Now I'm older, showers are for getting rid of the old man smell, creating the early onset of wrinkles and for bleeding the life insurance companies clean (2000 shower deaths a year can't be wrong!). Since Worcester got the hot water permanently working, I haven't been able to stop touching my wet self (dirty, huh? You twitched a little, I saw it), it's such a relief to create steam.

If I didn't turn you gay, I definitely turned you Christian.

I must make an apology to Sharon. I seriously can't read and I called you 'vain' instead of playing a fun word game. In this world of miscommunication, purple monkey dishwasher Sean Kingston butterfinger leather wallet. And I am sorry.

A pint on me if you can spot the Simpsons reference.


179 Days To Go: Part 1

So, having downloaded Blogger for my iPhone, I very quickly realise something. You get on a roll with a keyboard, not so much on a touchpad...

Got a massive smile on my face today. My parents birthday present came a little early and, after a little bit of accountancy (I can't call what I did 'maths' because I actually enjoyed it), I can see that my summer is going to be awesome. With a capital 'f***ing'. That's not to be misconstrued as my holiday being some sort of jerk(off)fest, but just my first ever holiday that I planned, (mostly) financed and went on, all on my own. It seems that growing up does have some sort of benefit. Then again, so does eating chocolate and bacon apparently.

So I'm fat AND responsible. So long as I'm not a twig and shoving my head down the toilet, I can take fat geek jokes.

This, rather boring, Saturday also gave me the time to rip a couple of CDs for my mates (of which some of those songs are in my all time favourites) and install Unreal Tournament 2004. Now, I don't know how many of you who read my blogs are FPS fans... I'm not a huge one myself. But there is something about shooting the rear end off a robot that I find both hysterical and entertaining. So for those who think COD is too elite, Battlefield is too s***e and think Doom expired when they changed the name of Marathon bars to Snickers, then Unreal is your game.

Although having said that, I had the difficulty setting on 'Novice'. I like to ease into what I like. Hehe.

On, possibly the slowest day of my life, I ended up getting the most washing up done I've ever seen. Not only this, but I got my printing done AND decided on what I'm going to get with some leftover money. If that isn't enough, I only recently made the discovery of fresh air. Which tells me one thing. I was a geek at home and even then, got MORE fresh air then at university, where I'm supposedly going out, having drinks and walking to placement.

And it's going to cost kids £12k a year now to do that. Just stick some trance on and play a game at home. You are the future of Britain.

Friday, 13 January 2012

180 Days To Go

Tis a late blog for all the right reasons. Today I got to prove a lot of people wrong. Today, not only did I get to Worcester City Centre and back within an hour walking, I could pull off high tops well enough to have someone ask me where I got my outfit. If only I could have come back and said something like 'it cost a grand, all designer'. Shame I did the maths and assessed that my outfit (excluding necklace, that would make my outfit priceless) came to a pitiful £35. The same as the coat from H&M I bought but wasn't bothered to wear today. Now, I'm not naturally a cool person, I'm not even a geek. I'm the kind of person who you'd need to have photographic memory to remember.

But obviously, I got swagger. Jagger.

No joke, today I've been (non stop) listening to 'How We Roll' by Loick Essien. I'm not usually a fan of club floor fillers, but I guess in all this confusion about assignments, teaching and relationships, my musical taste as gone less country and more... city. But in between this addictive classic, I have been totally boring myself with endless repeats of the Big Bang Theory. When I used the word 'boring', I mean 'repeatedly entertaining myself finding out how many 'ious' words Sheldon can say in one episode'. And it blew my mind when I found out that Jim Parsons (Sheldon) is, himself, gay.

I'm already dating someone ten times smarter than me. You wait for a bus all your life...

As I'm writing this... it's 25 minutes away from just 1 day till my 19th and my 6 months with my BF. I have a huge sense of glee about this, knowing how strange fate has brought together a 6 hour time difference and 7500km and somehow created nearly 6 months of perfection. But to be fair, I'm dating perfection. So... that's 20 years of perfection... add the 6 months... so I've been dating 'technically' for longer than I was alive. Because I believe in the whole 'born and wired who you love' thing.

Yeah... the BF is not dating perfection. More like damaged goods. He needs a bravery medal.

Thursday, 12 January 2012

181 Days To Go: Part 2

I have a very worrying addiction. Everytime I close my eyes, my mind tends to drift towards the summer I'm going to have. It became an addiction when I recently found out I have spent most of this week with my eyes closed. But that's only because I'm lazy. Yeap, some student stereotypes I can live with. But the worry is when I do this without even recognising what's around me. Just 20 minutes ago, I was talking with my flatmates' boyfriend and I shut my eyes to blink for a second. Suddenly, all I wanted to do was grab my phone and Kik my BF and talk to him, all because when I shut my eyes, I imagined walking through the arrival gate to him. That is worrying.

But it's nothing compared to the time I did it in the lecture theatre. 2 hours goes way more slowly after that.

Natwest are also drip-feeding me information with regards to my new Student account. Basically, I want to milk a bank for all it's worth. To do this, I got an interest free overdraft student account. But also because I REALLY want to allocate £15 a month to buy myself Root Beer and current funds do not allow this. The sacrifices I have to make for University... *sigh*

On the plus side, I can't wait till placement. I get to dry-hump and test run my new iPod playlist. At 7am on a Monday morning (having woken up at 5:45am), a 20 minute walk to get my bus and freezing conditions, the music is seriously the only thing I get up for. Screw the kids, Sean Kingston livening up my bridge walk across Worcester is the only reason those kids will learn what a fraction is...

I'm a professional. :)

181 Days To Go: Part 1

It's horrible to wake up in the morning and completely bypass on what you did last night. Having had a 19 hour day, which included 8 straight hours of having kids call you everything but your real name, I was absolutely shattered. By 11pm, I was in bed talking to the BF when, all of a sudden, I started sleep-talking. Not, like, conventional sleep-talking of absolute gibberish... but some kind of heartfelt speech.

Let me state, outright, I'm not usually an embracing person. It takes a lot for me to emote and it's usually only after a couple (hundred) shots that that actually happens. I know that my BF doesn't like public shows of affection, but I had an incredibly hard night last night for so many reasons. By far and away, I take as much support as I can get nowadays. But much like life, you have your favourites. And when I was low, I was convinced that I wasn't worth enough to my most valuable person.

Turns out, after it all, I'm more certain than ever that I'm with the one.

In other (certainly less loving) news, I finally ended my hell and decided to print off and submit my Professional Studies assignment. 12 hours of intense Vygotsky loving (not only does my love stretch 4600 miles, it also stretches a good 70 years as well...) and Piaget bashing (sounds like a psychological masturbation, right?), I finally discussed how their theories would help and hinder. Whilst an incredibly mediocre essay was finished, it also spelt the end of University assessments for 4 months. And my birthday is in 3 days.

Not a bad end to the week, no?

Wednesday, 11 January 2012

182 Days To Go

This was, supposedly, the hardest day of the week and one of the hardest I would have all year. This was supposed to be the day I quaked in fear at the scale of my first block placement within schools. But it actually went amazing well. Which is all well and good... but now I have another problem...

You see, whenever I attempt to write these blogs, it's out of boredom and procrastination. Usually it's a way for me to access my deepest thoughts when stumbling on writers block. In the end, it seems like I've finished my essay and only need it proof-read one more time (if my BF is willing to do it, I put him through an ordeal last time and I'm scared he's lost all faith in my writing) before printing. Instead, I'm only delaying talking to my BF.

On the other hand though, I kinda do deserve the cold shoulder. I did just introduce him to Steps.

We haven't spoken in minutes since.

Tuesday, 10 January 2012

183 Days To Go: Part 2

So... I don't feel very grown up right now. And that's not down to me acting childish, it's down to the fact that we didn't view the house in the end. Which, by itself, is sad. But after today's lectures, I wouldn't dare let any of my body language or any gypsy know that (the lectures were on body language and gypsies... I'm not being racist, honest).

I'm about to try and do something I've never done before. Finish an essay (not an evaluation) with a finished reference list before I settle down for the night for the tradition big Tuesday call. Not gonna lie, I'm obviously procrastinating by writing this blog, but deep down, I think you should write creatively. Because, truly, everytime I've written a blog , I then want to do my essay and I bash out a good couple of hundred words before I am amused by a funny YouTube video I should have watched years ago but was too lazy to watch it. Seriously, I only just discovered that Charlie found candy mountain.

I'm about to finish my essay with my flatmate in my bed (working together... not what you think) and we'll both be doing our own thing. Really, I couldn't get a girl in bed if I tried. Now that I'm at Uni (and out), they can't stop getting into it. I have that way with women I guess...

183 Days To Go: Part 1

This is kind of a big day, whilst not being massively over-hyped. Today I'm getting to do something I've seen my parents do and helped guide their decision. Today I start house-hunting, hopefully not for the last time.

I'm nearly 19 at this point, the biggest life decision I ever used to wake up to is if I have the right clothes for my converses that I want to wear today. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would go with 3 other friends and look at possible digs to live in for possibly 2 years. I really live for the moment nowadays, so there's no doubt I'm going to relish being the one that THEY have to impress, rather than be someone else's monkey that has to dance to entertain. All of this though, it isn't what's totally on my mind. Granted it's dominating, but the thought of my birthday is creeping in.

It shouldn't really, like, 19 isn't a big birthday. But how the chips have fallen, it might turn out to be the biggest ever. See, after months of saving, if everything falls into place, then I could very well be purchasing a £800 ticket to get my first kiss. How (shamefully) romantic and pricey. And that was flowing through my mind, knowing that, on my special day, I get to make someone else feel just as good as I. As I said to those who wanted to spend time with me on my birthday (of which I haven't got anything fun planned), 'I would have just as happier birthday knowing that you were doing things that you wanted to do, rather than be stuck with me doing nothing'. That's the main difference, living away from home at university; you have to do things for yourself.

Well, I've got a hell of a birthday coming up and I can't wait to start placement knowing that my summer is on course to be the greatest. Roll on Sunday.

Monday, 9 January 2012

184 Days to Go: Part 2

780 words demolished on my assignment leads me to believe that if I do anymore, I'll be a geek. So I'll blog. That will definitely crush the stereotype.

I want to be able to say something interesting, but I fear my mind will ramble onto talking about how much I love chocolate. Because my mind does that. But I will confess something. I'm a very scared person and I will tell you for why. I've never been trusted so much in my life.

With the first block of university completed, I've conquered 1 term out of 9 that I'll have here at Worcester. I have my own room in a flat with 3 other wonderful people. I'm given all this money from the government (who want it repayed up to 50% more than I borrowed. Because apparently that's fair) and I've got to organise it so that my shortfall falls into my bursary (thank you Worcester!) and I'm not hit as hard as those who get grants. Now, this may sound mental, but it's kind of my own doing. I have had to save every last penny to follow my dreams and get to the States. I have been given a lot of help along the way and I hope this Sunday will be the last hurdle conquered before time is the only obstacle left.

If I got into my first choice university though... if they didn't lie to me... then my fight would have been a lot shorter... with much greater gain.

184 Days To Go: Part 1

These blogs won't have a title per se, more a running countdown till the very special day. The date I touchdown in the States.

But this blog is way more than just me moaning about the 14 hour worry about being blown up whilst attempting to join the solo Mile-High club. This is a place to chronicle any sort of deluded thought that my mind has the audacity to create. So I shall start with the other main reason I started this blog, procrastination!

I'm supposed to be romping another essay home for my course at the University of Worcester. Turns out I have a lethal combination of Facebook, boredom and an imagination which has led me to deviate from talking about how Piaget and Vygotsky has inspired me as a teacher and rather led me down a path of melancholic thoughts thanks to the tag team forces of Jai McDowall's new album (lush!) and an ability to ramble on.

For those of you not familiar with the concept of a talented Scot (because believe me, they are a rare breed), Jai McDowall won Britain's Got Talent, beating Sony BMG's favourite little kid Ronan Parke in the final. Since then, he was buried in a recording studio and churned out 10 amazing covers. That's right, not one original track. But with such a delightful voice, I really don't care. Anyone who can cover 'With or Without You' and not muck up just how powerful it is, they deserve the Purple Cross. So that's been on instant repeat on my iPod and will certainly get me through the tough placement mornings.

Reflect later.

So David... Why 4600 Miles?

If you wanted an introduction, you should have looked on my profile. Anyway, the blog title.

It comes from an absolute fear of dating. I only came out as recently as March and, after trying to get out on the scene, I realised one very important thing. I absolutely sucked at dating. Couldn't do it. I had no confidence. So I tried internet dating, and low and behold I found the love of my life. But, due to a geographical issue, he doesn't live in my country. Not even in my timezone. Not even in my continent. For he lives in the USA.

4600 miles is how far my love can stretch. How many of you can honestly say that about yourselves?