Ok, so yesterday was one of the worst days for a very long time. I, basically, was being an utter twat. I asked for one thing and behaved like a petulant child when I didn't get it. I didn't get it because it would cause too much hassle for the BF to do. So, instead of behaving like the mature adult I know I can be, I turned 4 years old and walked off to help my flatmate who was upset. I walked away because I was angry, even after saying that I wasn't ever going to get angry. So not only did I act out, I lied. For most people, this would be the last straw. I've had so many chances and fecked up so many times, I'm writing the book on feck-ups. But somehow, my BF keeps on forgiving me. I don't know what I've done to deserve such copiously high amounts of forgiveness but I can tell you this and forever, it's a mark of the man if he forgives you for betraying his trust.
I didn't deserve forgiveness or a boyfriend after yesterday. Somehow, I have both. I truly am so thankful for what I have. I have the perfect BF. I love you, Steven.
You are being too hard on yourself. We all have moments of 'immaturity' (for want of a better word) when we are emotionally invested in something we want and it doesn't happen, even if we look back and think we were being irrational and unreasonable.
ReplyDeleteHe loves you the way you are, nobody is perfect and he won't mind moments like that. His love is what drives the forgiveness :)
But I am glad you are so happy :)